'Sever The Wicked Hand' (an expanded review)

Crowbar 'Sever The Wicked Hand' (an expanded review)
Out now on Century Media

It's been a while folks, the weight of January, house hunting, work colleagues indulging in fuckwittery and coupled with the malise that kicks in after Jesus' Birthday and I have been somewhat remiss in continuing the journey through Metal & Time...

I though I'd try and be a bit clever and give a historical perspective on Crowbar before reviewing their excellent new slab of Southern Sludge 'Sever The Wicked Hand'.

My personal journey brought me to Crowbar in 1998 - late to the party I appreciate, but I was already aware who founder Kirk Windstein was from his work with New Orleans supergroup Down.
Kirk formed Crowbar somewhere around the late eighties with best friend Jimmy Bower who is known as "the Godfather of Southern Metal" due to his frankly impressive involvement in Eyehategod, Superjoint Ritual, co-founding Down and playing significant parts in the histories of Corrosion Of Conformity and of course Crowbar (Windstein affectionately refers to him as 'the fat drummer from Down').
The pair decided to take the hardcore sound of the time and break it up by playing slower and heavier - going in direct opposition to bands trying to achieve the speed of light on the back of the thrash explosion of a few years earlier. The lead heavy dirge became known as Sludge and through Crowbar a genre was born.

The first album came in 1991, by this time the band had collapsed and then reformed. Bower had returned to Eyehategod and Kirk had nearly joined thrashers Exhorder before deciding to press on as the mainstay of the band.
Obedience Thru Suffering fell in the woods and frankly no one heard it; well that's a little harsh, but it would be fair to say that if at that point Kirk got involved in a Battle Rap his opponent would be taunting him with the standard 'You couldn't sell two copies if you pressed a double album' line such was the limited exposure outside of the NOLA bar scene.
It is not a bad release, having the trademark hardcore speed and the slow grind that would define the band in later years.
However by 1993 the band found themselves blessed with the patronage of personal friend and rising MTV favourite Philip 'Is that my foot in my mouth or did I say something cuntish?' Anselmo. Anyone reading this should know, that when not making a massive twat of himself, Phil has been one of the finest metal vocalists of the last twenty years fronting Pantera, Down, Superjoint Ritual, numerous side projects, running the House Of Shock in New Orleans, founding Housecore Records and still taking time out to cultivate and kick a debilitating heroin addiction which cost him more than his band and public respect... but that is undoubtedly a tale for another day.
Producing the self titled release, childhood friend Anselmo oversaw a band coming on in leaps and bounds with songs like 'All I Had, I Gave', 'Self-Inflicted' still finding their way into the live set today and an astounding cover of Led Zep's 'No Quarter'. Having the frontman for the darlings of the metal press wearing your shirts in their videos doesn't hurt either, nor does getting played on zeitgeist show Beavis & Butthead.
Over the next 5 years as well as contributing to Down's incredible debut album Windstein turned in two more solid Crowbar releases in Time Heals Nothing and the superior Broken Glass which saw Bower back into the fold and with Anselmo and contributing backing vocals.

Fast forward to 1998 and this is about where I come in, being as big a Pantera fan as most angry teenaged boys in the '90's it was only natural I had heard of Down. I had already fallen in love with the smokey, heavy, riffs of Keenan and Windstein topped off with the raging and crooning of my favourite vocalist of the time (Dickinson languishing in solo purgatory turning in patchy sub par albums - Balls To Picasso - or grungy space rock that I wouldn't appreciate until I grew up a bit - Skunkworks) and Crowbar promised exciting new avenues of heavosity (I know it's not a word, sue me).
This, coupled with the fact a dude from the local rock scene who went everywhere with a long sleeved Crowbar t-shirt (baring the legend NONE FUCKING HEAVIER - sadly discontinued before I could get one, but now will only buy their shirts in long sleeve as a result) tied round his waist, made me want to check out this band.

Right on cue Crowbar hit a rich vein of form that continues to this day releasing the astounding Odd Fellows Rest which features Kirk's own favourite song in the immense 'Planets Collide'. This was followed by the powerful Equilibrium and the possibly career best Sonic Excess In It's Purest Form, albums that defined and cemented the band as masters of a genre of one.

It wouldn't be until 2005 before the follow up surfaced, Kirk occupied with Down II, the death of friend Dimebag Darrell and all members of Down working on serious addictions of their own personal nature.
Lifesblood For The Downtrodden saw the band more introspective (although no less heavy) and expanded on the rich melodies that they had been cultivating since Odd Fellows...

Following this the band was effectively shelved whilst Kirk took the metal world by storm with the reactivation of Down for Over The Under, reuniting after Hurricane Katriona ravaged their home town, destroying Pepper Keenan's bar, wiping out Michael William's (Eyehategod singer) home and stranding Anselmo in the swamp with no one to talk to for like, hours man.
Under the circumstances relentlessly touring the world for four years might be enough for some, but also during this time Windstein has worked with wet dream for throat lozenge adverts and Hatebreed frontman Jamie Jasta on the increasingly cool Kingdom Of Sorrow project producing two brilliant albums, dedicated time to getting sober and somehow managed to squeeze in writing and recording a new Crowbar album.

Which brings us to Sever The Wicked Hand...



A clear reference to sobriety runs through out Crowbar's 9th studio album but unlike the harrowing tales of abuse in the past this one roars from the speakers with the confidence of a man who has faced his demons and won.
Sever... sounds like a band revitalised and focused; the hardcore edge of their 1991 debut is honed to razor sharpness, married with the more mature melodic leanings of later years and this release is more crushing than being sat on by a lead elephant.
At times lyrics have been Crowbar's Achilles Heel, heartfelt and rending, but occasionally seemingly tacked on as an after thought. Here every word is considered and hits home like a smart bomb detonating. On 'The Cemetery Angels' the influence on Kirk of sobriety is plain to see as he rages against the pull of alcoholism with lines like 'You gave me wings, and took the sky away' and 'Sooner or later we all give in and drown'.
Of the twelve songs on offer there is absolutely no fat on display, all are taught and crafted with the expertise of a man who has spent 20 years developing his skills and is now able to deliver with the best of his abilities.
The songs fly by in a blur at first there are that many highlights, 'Protector Of The Shrine', 'As I Become One' and 'Isolation (Desperation)' all bludgeoning and belligerent; 'Let Me Mourn' and the sombre 'Liquid Sky & Cold Black Earth' mature and almost stately, making this feel like a well rounded and complete album.
For those of us fearing the popularity of Down meant the death of bands that I hold dear from these individuals - Corrosion of Conformity album next please Pepper! - has been greatly exaggerated. Having reunited with the same line up that has graced the last few albums and publicly stating that it is the most satisfying period of the groups history this settled and, dare I say, happier Crowbar have matured with age and lost none of their fire.

I live by my mistakes
And learned all the hurt it takes
To overcome and grow
These things you need to know
- Isolation (Desperation)

Snippets from the New Year News

As you can see I jammed a RSS feed on here for Blabbermouth to compliment the general scatter gun approach I have taken to this project and a couple of headlines caught my eye this week which I have added my own interpretation to in order to avoid replicating Bori's appalling standards.

'Black' album still crapping on the competition 20 years on



Since Nielsen SoundScan began tracking album sales in May 1991 Metallica have sold enough records to actually create a clone of Lars that can play the drums and not shoot off at the mouth every five minutes, but it turns out they spent it on hair plugs and dye.
The band who took on Napster and won everything bar the PR battle is still shifting an incredible amount of it's 1991 album and as of 2009 has surpassed even bandy legged transvestite Shania Twain to become the best selling LP of the Sound Scan era. To date, the black album has sold 15,620,000 copies, eclipsing Twain's 'Come On Over' total of 15,499,000.

The Nielsen SoundScan system began compiling sales electronically more than 18 years ago on a weekly basis, providing more accurate sales figures that form the basis for the Billboard music charts.

Top Ten Selling Artists Of SoundScan Era
(based on album sales from 1991 to January 2, 2011)

01. GARTH BROOKS (68,513,000)
02. THE BEATLES (62,066,000)
03. MARIAH CAREY (53,185,000)
04. METALLICA (52,672,000)
05. CELINE DION (51,162,000)
06. GEORGE STRAIT (42,396,000)
07. EMINEM (39,643,000)
08. TIM MCGRAW (39,396,000)
09. ALAN JACKSON (38,275,000)
10. PINK FLOYD (36,429,000)

Top Ten Selling Albums Of SoundScan Era
(1991 - January 2, 2011):

01. "Metallica" - METALLICA (15,620,000)
02. "Come On Over" - SHANIA TWAIN (15,499,000)
03. "Jagged Little Pill" - ALANIS MORISSETTE (14,673,000)
04. "Millennium" - BACKSTREET BOYS (12,115,000)
05. "Bodyguard" soundtrack - Various Artists (11,823,000)
06. "Supernatural" - SANTANA (11,709,000)
07. "Beatles 1" - THE BEATLES (11,703,000)
08. "Human Clay" - CREED (11,563,000)
09. "No Strings Attached" - 'N SYNC (11,117,000)
10." Falling Into You" - CELINE DION (10,785,000)

All in all not a bad bit of work for the band. This won't shut their detractors up who will tell you that is was all downhill after 'And Justice For All...' in fact it probably highlights the exact point and accusations of selling out that have been thrown at them ever since they roped in Bob 'Let's Clean It Up A Bit' Rock and had an unequivocal amount of success.
Still to have moved up the chart in the past couple of years shows that someone out there is still buying albums and for all the haters you can laugh harder when you have nearly 16 million US sales in your back pocket.

Not Even A Redneck Would Vote For Sarah Palin



Ted f**king Nugent...
If you don't have the faintest idea who fret wanking, redneck, bigot Theodore Anthony "Ted" Nugent is, then you are probably slightly lucky.
Despite being born with mad skills on the guitar Theodore was also clearly born with a screw loose as he has become a sort of guitar wielding Bear Grills - only, in Ted's mind, the TV survivalist is probably a pussy because he doesn't use guns.
He has endured a lengthy and pretty fucking successful solo career considering, notching up 30m album sales and touring non stop since 1958. He was also in The Armboy Dukes, as well as forming supergroup The Damn Yankees and even appearing on Supergroup with Sebastian Bach and Scott 'Not' Ian.
He is well known for his love of hunting and once took to the stage on the back of a buffalo, no doubt shortly before killing it and serving it as the bands rider.
Recently the draft dodging, statutory rapist took time out from gay bashing to appear on Wednesday, January 5th's edition of the "Anderson Cooper 360°" show, to give his opinion of Sarah Palin, the former Alaska governor who was the Republican vice-presidential candidate in 2008.



In Nugent's bizarrely non-drug addled mind he gushed,
"[Palin's] coming from the street, she's coming from the we-the-people rank-and-file, she makes sense when she talks, she says all the right things, she's sincere, she's knowledgeable, she's articulate, she's damn good-looking, plus she kills moose. How can you go wrong?!"
Maybe he's confusing the real thing with 'Who's Nailin' Paylin?' as the GILF's stock has fallen pretty low since 2008 through a series of outlandishly bizarre statements, although maybe the idea of a woman who would piss off those liberal, animal loving, commie fags as much as he does is appealing no matter how low her breast hang when she takes her bra off.

However, even the 6 times married father of seven (all from different women) had to come back to reality when Cooper pressed the rocker on whether Palin would make a good president,
"It's too early to tell," Ted replied. "Right now, if we had a vote, I couldn't vote for Sarah Palin. And I love her. I love her madly, and I respect her."

If I was Palin I'd hung up my political shoes now. Christ if a guy who has been had up on concealed weapons charges, adopted a 17 year old as his daughter until she was old to marry and believes fags should burn won't vote for you, despite 'respecting' you, what chance have you got with the less ultra conservative people of America?

Anyway rant over - I have received feedback that the comments section didn't work properly and this should now been taken care of...
I shall be returning more historical/less gossip magaziney type business next time I promise!

Where Are They Now? Part 1: Skid Row

There's that time honoured cliche that if you remember the '60's you weren't there, well the one for the '90's could no doubt be 'If you remember the '90's you probably don't want to'.
It was a patchy decade at best and one I promise that I will explore in detail at some point, but it was a time of change, not only for metal but for me.
Exciting new musical avenues were beginning to open up, with the early '90's seeing alternative rock challenging metal, and exciting bands such as Tool, Deftones and Pantera began to emerge into public consciousness. Established acts such as Sepultura and Judas Priest turned in some of their career best music in 'Chaos AD' and 'Painkiller,' and a cartoon band called White Zombie flattened MTV with an album called 'Astrocreep 2000.'
Smack bang in the middle of the decade I went to my first festival, the (by then) long running Monsters of Rock festival at Donington. This year was arrogantly re-branded by none more cocky Metallica as 'Escape From The Studio '95' as they skipped out on finishing the fan base splitting, and overall average, Load/Reload set, to top a bill that featured Corrosion of Conformity, Warrior Soul, Slash, Machine Head, White Zombie, Slash, Slayer, Therapy? and Skid Row.
It was here I first set foot on the hallowed soil of my spiritual home. Here I first felt that primal sense of unity, my people, gathered together for a common cause; the charge and energy of the crowd, the expectation... thinking back, it was a disturbingly erotic moment.
Until the moshpit for CoC's 'Dance of the Dead' kicked off around me.

For me the first half of the decade very much belonged to two bands - Iron Maiden and Skid Row.
The former you'll probably hear more than enough about over the course of this, being without doubt the finest metal band ever (FACT), but fewer bands captured the excitement of my youth quite like Skid Row.

Inception

Waaaaay back in the late '70's/early '80's over in New Jeresy there was a fresh faced kid, probably without the expensive dental work and teased designer hair, called Jon Boingoingoingovi who was all Italian American, no doubt said dude a lot and grew up the hard way what with his Dad making him sleep on the floor apparently.
Now Jon was probably the kind of kid who enjoyed such japes as stealing warm apple pie from window sills and skipping stones across the New Jersey turnpike with his chums, one of whom was a kid named Dave 'The Snake' Sabo. With a nickname like 'The Snake' you'd imagine that whilst Jon was working on the docks or out helping old ladies across the road, Dave was getting his older sister to buy him fags and beer so he could moodily kick back in the garage and listen to the Ramones.

Anyway the pair became friends and played together making the vow that if either one became famous they would come back and help the other one out.
As history shows the young Jon changed his name to the more redneck American friendly and easier to fit on PR material Bon Jovi, smiled an awful lot and won the hearts, minds and loins of America with a series of bubblegum rock anthems.
Meanwhile back in Jersey, Dave had put together a band that featured the ridiculously nose to ear chained Rachel 'Probably not my real name' Bolan on bass who despite looking like a girl and naming himself after one was essentially a dirty punk rocker who liked the Sex Pistols as much as Aerosmith (a cut price Duff McKagen if you will), Rob Affuso on drums, Scotty Hill on guitar and hyperactive, gangly Canadian coke hoover Sebastian Bach on vocals.
Bach had spent a few years enduring a miserable time fronting a bar band called Madam X in Toronto whose guitarist would pleasantly beat the shit out of him, pull his hair and spit on him during their show, because despite being the '80's where every dude looked like a chick and hair wasn't hair unless it was long and teased, he did look like a girl with massive cheekbones. It is little wonder he jumped at the chance to drag his 6'1" frame to Jersey although the years of hazing would come back to haunt the band in later times.

Debut album




With the line up complete and it was time to call up Jon.
Good to his word the man signed the band to Underground where he was talent spotting, recommended them to his management, helped produce Skid Row's eponymous 1989 debut and in what would prove to be costly to the friendship, retained a large percentage of the band's publishing rights (along with, for some reason, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora), not to mention taking them out on the road as support on Bon Jovi's chart crushing 'New Jersey' album tour.
Behind the scenes is where it began to get messy. Allegedly when the finished album was submitted to Bon Jovi he took issue with the vocals (clearly jealous that Bach could kick his Jersey Tunnel when it came to singing) and demanded that they be re-recorded. Funnily enough Bach refused and in an increasingly escalating war of words Bon Jovi parted with the cheap shot 'I hope you can jam a Gold Record up my ass' although this may not be related to the vocals.

Skid Row was a huge hit... double platinum in fact (now certified 5 x platinum), spawning the singles 'Youth Gone Wild', '18 and Life', 'I Remember You' (along with two other releases). As a 'fuck you' it is a spectacular piece of success. Featuring the polished, clean, glam metal sounds and chart bothering appeal but with a swagger and danger of the punk era, Skid Row took to success like the proverbial duck...
However several issues tainted this success.
That pesky publishing deal was naturally unfair, Sambora shame-faced returned his share (Bon Jovi had few qualms though) and the two parties went to war ending in a court injunction to stop Bach running his mouth and tarnishing Jon's fresh faced image. No doubt Sabo pulled the world's best Ostrich impression during all this back and forth.
Eventually the good guys triumphed and Skid Row won back their publishing rights by and large, but were vilified in the press when Bach was struck by a bottle thrown from the crowd opening for Aerosmith in Massachusetts. Clearly riled he threw a bottle back and dived into the crowd to beat up the culprit, but the missile he threw struck a girl instead and cut her face up.
The result was an out of court settlement and several years where he was not allowed home to Canada, clearly on a roll he also came under fire for wearing a t-shirt given to him by a fan that said 'Aids kill faggots' about the same time.
Tension grew between the band towards the end of the three year touring cycle, but never the less their debut album is an absolute corker and was jammed on my stereo for years and if ever I need a pick me up today it is on a small, select list that can bring a smile to my face.

Slave To The Grind



Despite the problems surrounding the band off stage, expectation for their second album was huge and they were riding high on a very successful album.
Having finally wriggled free from under Bon Jovi's sequined wing the band were free to explore their chosen musical directions and no doubt it came as a shock to all the Bon Jovi fans who bought the first album when Slave To The Grind dropped in 1991.
Whilst retaining their trademark sound 'Slave...' was anvil heavy in comparison, with song material dealing in drug abuse, child molestation, third world exploitation and psychotic sex.
The album went straight to Number 1 and the band toured with the recently out of the closet Rob Halford, dragged Pantera into the public eye by making them main support and were special guests to Iron Maiden at the 1992 Donington Monsters Of Rock festival where Bach opened the show by falling on his ass during 'Slave To The Grind' after stacking it on the wet stage.
Despite these slip ups, the album was a massive success despite not reaching the dizzy sales of the first and has still been certified double platinum. It is packed with anthems and utterly addictive.
The tour cycle was again lengthy and under the surface issues bubbled about Bach's hyperactive nature verses the rest of the close knit band.
As an interim the band released the B-Side Ourselves EP, a stop gap featuring covers of Kiss, Hendrix, Judas Priest and The Ramones.

Subhuman Race



By the time I saw Skid Row tear the ass out of Doinington in 1995 Metal music had taken a hit. Grunge, post-Grunge pop punk and the rise of RnB had stricken the musical wasteland, it was no longer cool to look like a chick, even Megadeth were wearing plaid lumberjack shirts for crying out loud, Metallica were cutting their hair, Bruce Dickinson had jumped ship from Iron Maiden and the whole thing was (on the surface) beginning to whiff a little.
Skid Row had, prior to this, recruited Motley Crue and Metallica producer Bob 'Mile deep sheen' Rock to man the desk for the follow up to 'Slave...'
'Subhuman Race' saw the band head into darker territory and to this day remains a forgotten gem. Songs like 'Eileen' were heavier, the title track was almost speed metal - time on the road with Pantera clearly having rubbed off on them.
However faced with a changing public who still thought of them as a glam band and a record label who clearly didn't know what to do with them it was promoted with an awful sounding, ham fisted advert along the lines of, 'Loud Guitars, Loud Behaviour, Rock and roll bands used to stand for something... one of them still does!'
Despite this the album was a reasonable success going Gold and cracking the top 40 but by now Bach was consigned to a separate tour bus and things came to a head when Bolan allegedly turned down the opportunity for the Skid's to support Kiss, opting in favour of pursuing his punk side project and the subsequent fallout saw Bach fired.

The remnants

The remaining members surfaced briefly in 1998 with the terribly named Ozone Monday before sinking without trace and causing drummer Rob Affuso to depart in favour of doing anything else.
In 1999 the rest of the band reformed Skid Row and recruited some bar singer by the name of johnny Solinger and new drummer Charlie Mills who stayed for five minutes before leaving again.
Since then they have recorded two extremely subpar albums in Thickskin (2003) and the even worse RPM (2006) and got Dave Gera in on drums who would stay a whole three years. They have plied their trade eeking out an almost bar scene existence since with Dave 'The Snake' not even touring with them anymore, instead concentrating on managing New Orleans sluggers Down when they are on tour.
The almost daily clamours for Bach to return would probably sell more records.

And the man himself?
Well it is a mixed bag of embarrassments for Baz, resorting to several years on Broadway doing Jesus Christ Superstar and Joesph. He eventually left amidst rumours of 'Prima Donna behaviour', played the last ever gig at Torquay town hall (closed after someone threw a bottle at him funnily enough), released the fabulous 'Angel Down' album, spent time on wank US TV show The Gilmore Girls, the talent spotting vehicle 'Supergroup' and more recently Celebrity Fit Club US. He was last seen on tour with BFF William Bailey opening for The Axl Rose Project, having to endure the indignity of taking to the stage at least a week before the fat ginger cunt decides to show up.
Reports that Bach has put together a new band to record a follow up to 'Angel Down' are growing in frequency, presumably the problem being is that he has to uncork his head from Axl's arse to sing into the mike.

In many ways, like GnR, the actions of the band following the mid '90's cannot ever tarnish their early works - I urge you to check them out.

Killswitch Drummer to play in Metal Band and other stories

Scott Stapp

Happy fucking New Year all.
The beer was swilled, the wine was quaffed and the whiskey (two fingers worth) eyed suspiciously as it sat in the glass over ice and plotted to give me the usual migraine level headache.

I can honestly say that music wasn't a heavy feature of the festive season for me this year...
I drove around Wiltshire listening to my legal CD copy of Monster Magnet's 'Mastermind' feeling smug to be fueling Dave's pie addiction and drove back to a thawing Devon whilst the misses cranked Slash's originally titled 'Slash' album and wondering how much better Miles Kennedy would sound if anything other than dogs could hear him.
All of which led me to try ABIII again, or Alter Bridge III for those of you not quite down with it.
Now this album's mere existence is a puzzle to me.

The timeline for Alter Bridge's existence runs like thus:
Moody Jesus botherer and professional Eddie Vedder impersonator Scott Stapp who fronted million billion selling State side bores Creed decided he was better than everyone else and was going to duet with the Lord so disbands the second generation Grunge plagiarists to go solo (I call this the reverse Welch).
The talented members of Creed are suitably unimpressed by this and, in the Christian tradition of helping those who help themselves, roped in squeaky voiced pretty boy Miles Kennedy and embarked on a succession of increasing successful girlfriend friendly stadium rock albums. Not ground breaking, but better than Creed anyway and condemned males everywhere to stand bored at festivals hugging their girlfriends and agreeing through gritted teeth that of course this is 'our song'.
In short the new Incubus (credit to The Voice Of Doom for this observation).

Somewhere into this run Stapp came crawling (no doubt over water for added effect) back and maybe it's because Creed loving Christians buy their albums as opposed to those demonic downloading Alter Bridge fans, but God's personal whipping boys went running with open arms to welcome him back.
No doubt there was hugging, turning of cheeks and forgiveness all round.

All of this left infinitely superior vocalist Kennedy out in the cold. Rumours abounded of him joining singerless GnR rhythm section Velvet Revolver, but instead he opted to guest on 'Slash',and toured with the Top Hatted one promoting the album and promising he would handle all the vocals for the next album.
He clearly didn't fancy slipping into Scott 'Increasingly erratic not a junkie, Honest Guv' Weiland's snake skin trousers and making himself a bigger rent-a-vocalist than Tim 'Ripper' Owens.
Either that or Duff and Co figured their show would become even more boring if they tried to jam any Alter Bridge songs into their encore.
Salvation was found though. As quickly as it came Creed's reunion was done, bank balances topped up Stapp went back to make his second solo album (really, yes really!?!) and Alter Bridge came out with ABIII.
Back in the real world this album topped various polls for 2010, had people I actually know in fits on Facebook extolling how 'heavy' and 'dark' and 'amazing' it was and my good lady was under orders from friends of hers to listen to it.

All I can say is 'What's the big fucking deal?'
They are boring and samey, Kennedy has this trademark quick, quick, sooooooooar! thing going on with the vocal melodies on every song. It appears no heavier than 'Blackbird' which had at least one good song on it and is just run of the mill.
I'd usually take my word for it, but I confess it's nearly kept me awake at nights (the question, not the album) but fortunately even my girlfriend was bored by it.
Ha!


Justin Foley

Anyway I've rambled enough already and not got to the point, although it does at least give a bit of history...

My focus today is on the future.
As the title suggests Justin Foley, skin beater for used to be great Killswitch Engage and people have only heard of us because our singer joined Killswitch Blood Has Been Shed, has stepped in to help Boston metalcore behemoths Unearth record their new album in light of Derek Kerswill's departure.
Unearth has suffered from a Spinal Tap-esque drummer issue in recent years with this being the third album in a row to feature a different drummer since they fired Mike Justian during the Eyes Of Fire tour cycle who in turn had only come in on The Oncoming Storm cycle replacing temporary drummer Tim Mycek.
This has no doubt had an impact on the band, whilst III: In The Eyes Of Fire (2006) was a strong release as was The March (2008), purists (well me and about 5 other guys on the internet) will tell you that they effectively trodden water since their 2004 Metal Blade released breakthrough album.
Hopefully this membership problem arrested temporarily the band can concentrate on writing material knowing they have (in theory) a technically astute drummer. Although given that Killswitch have released two straight up lame ducks in a row (As Daylight Dies and self title 2009), not to mention they stopped playing straight forward bludgeoning metalcore in favour of slightly whiffy emo metal, you'd hope that part of the new tub thumpers initiation is to be beaten with his 'End Of Heartache' Grammy.
Hard.
Still other wise it is business as usual for Unearth as they return to the studio with cape wearing, show ruining, man child, producer extraordinaire and Killswitch guitar player Adam Dutkiewicz.
As much as I love Unearth it is now time to step up and deliver a mammoth album that sees them restore their place at the top of the pile as the whole metalcore genre seems to be suffering from fatigue. Shadows Fall are stagnating, All That Remains and As I Lay Dying are not setting the world alight, Diecast have all but gone and plenty of other bands are feeling the pinch of over saturation.

2011 is a watershed year in terms of expectation for Metal, the past couple of years have thrown up some great music but you feel there needs to be some fresh challenge; bands have gotten faster, heavier, more technical, blurred more lines, but just with many of the giants of metal retiring or resorting to nostalgia the whole genre needs an overhaul - adapt and survive - for the future of the music I love.

As an aside:
In my run down of worst albums for 2010 I dubbed Dave Grohl 'The Nicest horse In Rock' and feel the need to elaborate on this.
I know that anatomically he looks more like a donkey, but I felt at the time that was a derogatory term I would usually reserve for West Ham's number 10 so promoted Grohl to a horse as he plays with the silky skills of a thorough-bred stallion.
It's just a shame it wasn't on display on that album.
Zing!

How does it go?
'First you giveth, then you taketh awaaaaaay...'
Sorry Dave...

Stay tuned, next time I'll actually talk about something I like.

Stocking Filler

Aka 'Corey, don't give up the day jobs...'


Just when you thought I was out they pull me back in.
In my final Xmas missive I thought I'd pick up on the fact that Corey Taylor of SlipSour and Stoneknot recorded a Christmas single.
I will point out it's done for Charidee so it's all right and for a good cause apparently.
Now I thought I'd try and give it a swerve but having brought people's attention to it they asked for my opinion.
Well first off I'll reproduce the lyrics for you:

Corey Taylor 'X-M@$'

Ho Ho Ho Ho!

There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
Gussied up with candy canes and balls
Those carolers have kept me up for hours
It's Merry Christmas seeping through my walls
Now I'm no wiccan commie nut or nothing
But there's one damn holiday that I can't stand
It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools
But it'll surely make a fool out of every man
HA

If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
You know where to stick those jingle bells
If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
And all you motherfuckers go to hell
If I ain't cockeyed then it ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world and jack and coke
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
Cause I ain't never anything but broke

Now every year the malls are just a madhouse
Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit
And those colored lights are fucking infantile
I think we collectively as a people
Should rise against this corporate jolly noise
And tell the world:
"Let's buy some peace and quiet for a change"
Before we spend it all on fucking toys.
HA

So if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
You know where to stick those jingle bells
If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
Fa la la la la go fuck yourself!
If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world of getting stoned
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
So leave this god damn scrooge the fuck alone.
HA

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

(Hi Simon! )

Blabbermouth is full of fuckwits.
There I said it.
A site that makes this thing look well written and unbiased and usually sends me apoplectic with rage reading some of the user comments but every now and then a gem shines through and this comment sums up everything I feel about this song:
Charities deserve greatness because they're doing a great thing. And this is not greatness. Corey would have been better to give the money to charity and save his reputation by not producing this song. I like Corey Taylor, generally speaking I think he's a talented guy, and usually quite funny. But this is not funny, this is bad. AND YES, I stand by my point that a sober dude is telling everyone that it ain't Christmas unless he's drunk.

Testify anonymous internet user.
Least we forget the row upon row of column inches dedicated to Taylor's battle with alcohol addiction and the ginger fuckwit releases a song not only so incredibly infantile it takes a pop at coloured lights, jingle bells, pine trees, carollers and 'joy corporate noise' whatever the hell that is... but also about how it's impossible to celebrate without being wrecked? Are you serious!?!
This is a guy who makes a living raging about and exposing the darkness of the human condition, now he's raging about things that make people happy!?!
Seriously Corey, I agree that Xmas can be tacky but it's what you make of it - spend some of that money, hang out with the family, say a prayer for Paul... chill the fuck out would ya?
Maybe Christmas has lost it's charm now you are sober but don't tell me the only way to get through it is to be pissed frankly it's fucking childish, the song sucks and makes you look a moron, especially the pathetic 'Hi Simon' at the end... if John Cage's 4'33" failed to make a dent do you think this piece of garbage will even surface on Cowell's radar?
He probably had to have it explained to him who you even were, yet alone be remotely concerned.

I know, I know it was meant to be taken as a joke, I should laugh really... but it just seems so sad to perpetuate this dumb drunk knuckle dragging culture metalheads have been stereotyped with for years and years. Taylor is, to my chagrin, in one of the most influential metal acts of the modern age. He is the mouthpiece, the focus and a role model. In my mind role models should raise people up, not drag them down and this does us no favours in the eyes of the world...

Still those of us who aren't ready to admit their addictions can get drunk and make it Christmas...
Whatever you are up to and however you are doing it from here at History Towers, have a great one and we'll return in the New Year to spread the odd comment and a whole lot more bile.
As J.S Claydon used to say, 'Take it easy. PEACE!'

Christmas Stocking Part Three

A Brief History Of Metal's Worst 5 albums of 2010

Weird to think that, being someone who is not short on vitriol, the idea of compiling a 'Worst 5' list would be so hard. Maybe because I haven't listened to as much music as I would have liked this year? Maybe it is because I have all but given up on listening to bands with spikey logos and lots of o's and k's in their names or maybe it's just because the season of peace and love is kicking in? I must confess I initially struggled with five I found worth of rising themselves exceptionally above the parapet, but then it all kicked in to gear and I had to mention a few others on the way down...

Disturbed released an album so bland I can't recall it's name without looking on my Ipod but I don't want to risk messing around with the amazing climax of '100 Million Miles' Away by Monster Magnet. Frankly you could, even on 'Indestructible', rely on bouncing riffs and head nodding entertainment and vocal staccato, here not so much.

Serj Tankian followed up the anaemic 'Elect The Dead' with an album I couldn't even be bothered to make it to the end of in 'Imperfect Harmonies'. Boring, boring, boring. Get back with SOAD... you have? Great, this is irrelevant then.

Poker Whore Scott Ian and the guitarist from Anthrax who is not Scott Ian teamed up with the rhythm section of Fall Out Boy and fringe merchant Keith Buckley of Every Time I Die to form a 'super group' called The Damned Things. They pedal girlfriend appealing classic, punky, saccharine rock that grown men should be ashamed of. You hum it in the car and cry on the inside - expect this to come up again soon.

Rob Zombie 'Hellbilly Deluxe II' - going back to the well because your last two albums sucked Rob? Meh? 'Hellbilly Deluxe' never captured the heights of White Zombie and lets face it sequels are rarely better.

Fear Factory have spent most of the past couple of years trying to be as big a joke as Anthrax even to the point where two fat guys who were brought into the band tried to sue the fat guys who got them in because they wanted to use the fat guys original name. Or something. 'Mechanise' saw aspiring Mexican Pimp Dino and Burton 'Massive C Turn' Bell reunited. In a not-quite-as-stock comeback everyone creamed themselves over this. I was bored long before the vinegar stroke to be honest.

Ozzy Osbourne parted company with retired beer swiller and egg throwing, pinch harmonic overusing, twat merchant Zakk Wylde and recruited Firewind's totally Greek Gus G in a bid to make a new album that didn't sound like left overs from the cutting room floor of a Black Label Society album in 'Scream'. Needless to say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks - too many Beatles-esque harmonies, stock lyrics, and a man who sounds like his voice is shot no matter how many effects you smother it with? Check.

So without further ado or mentioning how limp Hellyeah's 'Stampede' was I give you.

5. Avenged Sevenfold 'Nightmare'


Is it cruel to single out a band who went through such a tragedy?
To be fair I've said worse about Paul Grey and I dislike Slipknot less... Avenged Sevenfold then, they are bollocks though aren't they?
Sure M Night Shadows can't scream anymore so they went all sleazy, sure the Rev was a great drummer, but your guitarists are called Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance for fucks sake, you look like a bunch of cunts and this album has one good track (Natural Born Killer for those interested) which you ruin by making people endure the shit around it.
Whether it's soppy ballads or the heavier numbers, I much more enjoyed the days when they tried to be the Orange County Killswitch Engage, and I hated them then.
They are the epitome of the Hot Topic image driven mewsick that chips away at the heart and soul of metal.
I'm sorry for your loss but please, please, fuck off.

4. Them Crooked Vultures 'Them Crooked Vultures'


Confession time, I last saw Josh Homme on T4 Music (Sunday morning hangover TV for Students and the dole queue generation) and he was wearing a pair of tight leather trousers and a tight, pink tank top playing an atrocious bubblegum pop song that I assumed was the latest piece of garbage to spew out of the celebrity ridden, travelling revolving door that has become Queens Of The Stone Age. From that moment my heart was broken, I mean sure he used to look a right twat in Kyuss but he never looked a complete cunt until then - The years of celebrity girlfriends, mates and every journalist wanting to blow you clearly having gone to his head.
So next up Super Vanity Project TCV featuring The Nicest Horse In Rock on drums, Homme on guitar, and John Paul Jones playing bass.
The album picks up almost exactly where QOTSA's last coaster left off and is a timely reminder than just as he was capable of writing direct killer riffs like '100 Degrees' on Sky Valley, he almost wrote the incredible self indulgent 'Shepherd's Pie' on Desert Sessions... this album is no different.
Excruciatingly irritating at times and fearfully boring in others it reminded me of why I walked away from QOTSA and openly wept over my Kyuss records. I mean I subject my girlfriend to a lot of crap musically but never has she actually begged me to turn anything off until I played this album.


3. Bullet For My Valentine 'Fever'


Vocalist Matt Tuck claimed they weren't even sure they were metal in the press run for this album. He always thought of them as just 'rock' apparently. Nice try little man - see I always thought of you as a decent enough bunch of guys who had witnessed the success of fellow sheep fanciers Lost Prophets and tried to weld a brighter than the sun pop sheen onto a couple of cast of Machine Head riffs.
Fuck man, you had the same hair, the same cut off t-shirt look, the same guitar, the same stage stance... you couldn't be anymore Rob Flynn if you tried, in fact Rob Flynn isn't that Rob Flynn... so now you are rock what the hell are you going to do with that heaviness?
Please don't get me wrong I saw these guys when they only had an EP to their name, it was good. I thought they would mature into a fairly decent band but every album gets progressively worse. The music has gone more towards the desperately poppy, the lyrics were written using the rhyming dictionary and the whole thing is just so... so... nothing.
It's not pop, it's not metal, if Occam's Razor suggests a middle point is rock then yeah, I guess you are right Matt, you guys are totally rock... pink rock, cheap pink rock you'd find on some tacky tourist shit hole sold by an owner desperate to furnish his child support and drinking problem, or maybe the one with a pier and friends of Dorothy in abundance...
As you quite rightly say on 'Four Words (To Choke On)' Look. At. You. Now.

2. Linkin Park 'A Thousand Suns'


It must suck to start with the 'Black Album' of your career really. Hybrid Theory destroyed the charts and seemingly for forever you couldn't shake Bennington and Shinoda off the TV, radio, or your leg it seemed and fair enough it remains to this day a great, great album. However despite the remixes, dalliances with Jay Z and steadily declining albums Linkin Park refused to get out whilst the going was good.
'A Thousand Suns' is that crunch point, they could not realistically make another 'Linkin Park' album that was weaker than the last and either needed to reinvent themselves or wither and die. Sadly for those of us with ears, they chose the former and released an album that has more in common with Depeche Mode than chart bothering rock music.
Words cannot describe the bafflement to be honest. They appear to have ditched the drummer, the bassist and the guitarist - I assume they still have the DJ given the bleaps and squeaks all over the damn thing - but then again I'm sure between Mike and Chester they could remember to hit start on the Casio keyboard they used to make it whilst the other one was singing.
It has two intros for a start and by the time I heard first/third track proper I was pissing myself laughing it was that amateurish... it doesn't matter how much you swear to appear bad Mike or guest with Cypress Hill you are not Sean Carter, this album is a joke.
It would slide right in to the number one spot if I honestly didn't used to love them so much and can't help think that any minute now they are going to hold their hands up and say it was all a prank.
Nice one guys... now about 'Minutes To Midnight'...

1. Korn III "Remember Who You Are'


When I round up on history I will tell you how Korn's eponymous debut is one of the most important albums of the nineties, but for now just be content that I believe that Korn's last good album was probably 'Life Is Peachy'...
This has been touted as a much welcome return to form for Baskerfield's most famous son's - Jonathon, Munky, Sausage Fingers and Rent-A-Drummer woke up in a cold sweat of poor reviews, declining albums sales and realised it wasn't a bad dream; Brian 'Head' Welch did indeed jump for Jesus, David Silveria became a male model and yes Reggie did record a solo rap album.
The result is a trip back to the master producer Ross Robinson - the man who pioneered the Nu Metal sound with Korn, Limp Bizkit and Slipknot and made Davis sound like he was shouting from the khazi was he cried 'You can suck my dick and fucking like it' on 'Faget'.
The much vaunted result is a renaissance for Korn, allegedly.
Personally I don't get it - Davis somehow sounds worse than he did 16 years ago (possibly due to his insistence on trying to 'sing'), Sausage Fingers still can't tune, yet alone play, his bass and Munky reveals the not-so-secret fact that Jesus' favourite NuMetaller was in fact the driving force in keeping Korn interesting.
It's lumpen, sludgy and frankly cringe worthy, it shows nothing of the song writing nouse of 'A.D.I.D.A.S' or 'Freak On A Leash' and none of the raw emotion of anything off the first two albums. The whole thing whiffs like a band so far past their sell by date it's unreal - for crying out loud if Linkin Park who have been massively successful realise they can't fool people with the same thing anymore then surely these idiots would take a look around (see what I did there?) and realise it's just not good enough to make an album that sounded fashionable for 18 months back in the nineties?
The worst thing is they'll probably sell a butt load of t-shirts and tour tickets, they may even sell a few albums but the sad fact is that this is a band who are now a bona-fide headliner, a band who exhibit no imagination, no stage craft and were very much a thing of zeitgiest.
Coming from a band nine albums into their career it shows that they have scraped the bottom of the barrel and are no more current than if they had had their DNA pulled from mosquitos found in hardened amber.

Christmas Stocking Part Two

A Brief History Of Metal's Top 5 of 2010

Closer contenders:
All That Remains 'For We Are Many'- insanely catchy, superior Metalcore from Phil LaBonte & Co.
High On Fire 'Snakes For The Divine'- Slayer meets Motorhead in High On Fire's third solid album in a row.
Grand Magus 'Hammer of the North'- JB and Co delivers the Magus' most mature and honed album yet.
As I Lay Dying 'The Powerless Rise' - Forget the Christian Metal tag, once again AILD shred all the competition in an impressive display.
Mutiny Within "Mutiny Within' - American take on Euro Metal with an English singer, high on melody and power, promises much for the future.
The credibility damaging Ratt 'Infestation'. This years 'Saints Of Los Angeles' FACT.


5. Monster Magnet 'Mastermind'



There is no doubt Monster Magnet have been in the wilderness of late. Dave Wyndroff's been playing by his own rules again...
Remember back in 1997 when 'Powertrip' was riding high on the crest of success with singles, iconic rock, leather, main stage appearances...? It looked like Monster Magnet would head up a level from cult stoner band to classic rock act. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your approach, Dave had other ideas and there followed the difficult ('God Says No'), the tongue in cheek ('Monolithic Baby') and the (allegedly) sub par ('4 Way Diablo'). Since those heady days the Bullgod has suffered from addictions, entered rehab and found a love of the pies.
No longer the rake thin, acid fried, Vietnam vet of old one might be forgiven for thinking that the Magnet's ideas and appeal were heading in the opposite direction to his waist-line... wrong.
'Mastermind' swaggers from the speakers with the confidence of a man who faced his demons and won; 'Hallucination Bomb' towers above anything he has written in the past ten years, 'Gods & Punks' sounds like the next step on from Crop Circle and the title track itself is a timely reminder than when he is on his A game no one writes a tune like Wyndroff.
This has a classic 'rock feel whilst retaining the stoner vibe of Spine of God and the pop sensibility of Powertrip'. His familiar biting sarcasm and social commentary is all on show here once more, the lyrics as much of a driving force as the music. In short he's back, he's focused and has delivered the best album he has made for 10 years.


4. Kingdom of Sorrow 'Behind The Blackest Tears'


The Crobreed/Hatebar project featuring Jamie Jasta and Kirk Windstien which made it's debut back in 2008 was a largely hardcore sludge mix that proved itself to be one of the years finer moments and changed my opinion of the Hatebreed vocalist from 'Meh' to 'Nicely done MTV Boy'; his often one note macho shouting balanced by Windstein's smoky, melodic rasp.
Two years on and the ever productive driving force Jasta has delved deep into the dark places once more. Surprisingly, the chief difference on The Blackest Tears is that it is not afraid to let the melody breathe. Songs like 'From Heroes To Dust' and 'God's Law In A Devils Land' have more in common with the New Orleans infused Crowbar than Jamie's day job, complementing the snarling aggression of 'Sleeping Beast' and 'Torchlight Procession' with a more mature balance.
Given the pedigree of the brains behind it, it would be easy to be crushed under the weight of expectation but this is a disc that thunders, rages and smothers the listener with emotion and is a must for anyone who likes Down, Crowbar, Hatebreed, CoC, Eyehategod...
This is a band that I would like to see continue and hope that after the reactivated Crowbar album and the Down IV reunion that 2012 will see the re-emergence of one of the finest side projects I have heard.

3. 36 Crazyfists 'Collisions & Castaways'


I must admit I have feared for my Alaskan boys over the last couple of years. Dropped from Roadrunner for a time and taking up residence on the last chance saloon label Ferret (home to 'Where are they now?' contenders such as Ill Nino and (Hed) PE). The two preceding albums were solid affairs but somehow failed to manage to spark the imagination of the masses (maybe due to the smaller reach of the labels advertising budget?) and this lack of confidence seemed to reflect in the band who stacked their shows heavily in favour of the Roadrunner released hit second record. Add to this the departure of long standing bassist Mick Whitney and things looked (realistically) bleak.
However, becoming the second band to experience a Volte-face at the hands of Roadrunner after Machine Head, they found themselves back home and subsequently delivered possibly a career best record.
Discarding the pop sheen once and for all but never abandoning the ability to write a catchy tune, 'Collisions & Castaways' crushes all before it, from the stop-start explosion of 'In The Midnights' to the apocalyptic 'Waterhaul II'. This is an album that shows maturity and a renewed confidence that allows them to turn in their heaviest offer yet with tracks like 'Death Renames The Light' and the subliminally hook-laden 'Reviver'.
Seeing them last month on a double header with Devildriver they turned in a set that showcased the new material proudly and had every word sung back to them in rapture. If there is one band this year who deserve your support and admiration, it's these guys.


2. Deftones 'Diamond Eyes'


I love the deftones. Ever since 'Adrenaline' they captured my imagination and a place in my heart that, in my mind, made them more special than Korn when everyone was creaming themselves about the Bakersfield crew. This event solidified by the fact that they grew with each release up until 'White Pony' their creative impetus increasing lock step with Korn's decline in quality control, band members and credibility. However even the most ardent of deftones fans will be hard pushed to say that since 2000's 'White Pony', or even the subsequent 'Back To School' Ep, they have fired on all cylinders.
'deftones' was a difficult album, some great tunes, but lacking the direct song writing punch of before; 'Saturday Night Wrist' was a slight disappointment continuing this trend, being not only the weakest thing they had penned but exhibited some bizarre, throwaway experimentation and evidence that the fire that once burned so bright was fading.
Fast forward to 2010 and the planned album 'Lovers' (or 'Eros') was shelved, unfinished with bassist Chi Cheng still in a coma following a car crash and the 'tones resembled, drafted in former Quicksand bassist Sergio Vega and have delivered one of the most urgent and compelling releases of their career.
The title track shimmers in transcendent medley and groove, 'Royal' rages like the band of old, in fact the whole album makes the band sound hungry and rejuvenated again.
There is no denying that the circumstances are unenviably cruel but songs like 'Rocket Skates', 'Sextape' and 'This Place Is Death' are among some of the best they have penned as they soar and snarl with the majesty of old.


1. Iron Maiden 'The Final Frontier'


An obvious choice really for me and not just an automatic reaction, I actually have reasons to justify it...
The post reunion albums have been a tough act to accept for some of those who grew up on 'The Trooper' and 'Aces High'. "Brave New World' seems to have gotten away with being hailed as a classic (but then anything after 'X Factor' and 'Virtual IX' would have been); 'Dance Of Death' seemed to put people off with it's rubbish CGI cover despite the fact it had some fantastic tracks, 'A Matter Of Life And Death' pleased the band to the extent that they played the entire thing live (and in my mind is a phenomenal record) much to the chagrin of people who wanted to here the same songs for the 70th time and moved them further down the prog path Harris has been pushing since he wrote 'The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner' back in 1984.
So the 15th studio album, with talk of being the last ever (now debunked), is a strange, forward looking affair and incredibly impressive.
The first reason being it has actually been produced. For the first time since BNW, Harris has actually let Kevin Shirley finish his job as opposed to using the rough daily mixes and from the bizarrely industrial into of 'Satellite 15' to the melancholy closer 'Where The Wild Wind Blows' it leaps from the speakers.
The songs themselves are expansive, tinges of folk, prog and metal collide in an album that sees Maiden push their boundaries further. It has balls out rockers like 'El Dorado' and 'The Alchemist', sprawling epics like the delicious 'Isle Of Avalon', lighters in the air (sorry mobiles in the air) anthems like 'Coming Home' and those thunderous galloping tales like 'The Tailisman'.
Maiden may have moved too far away from their eighties heyday for some who yearn for 'Wrathchild' or ''Two Minutes To Midnight' but, for the patient, they are ploughing a much more rewarding furrow.