Golden Shower

You know I never thought it would actually arrive… sure there was the reunion shows in 2009/2010 and the whole notion that the world was still caught in the throws of some incredibly funny joke - you know the one where you are busting a rib or laughing so hard that it was painful? - but to actually sit down and listen to listen to the concept of 'a new Limp Bizkit album' in 2011 was as bizarre a concept of listening to Motley Crue's 'Saints Of Los Angeles' in 2009 and realising it was actually relevant and credible.
Well here's where the similarity departs because in reality, whereas 'Saints…' was a great, clever piece of post ironic self realisation from a band who were renowned for being as big a joke as they were musically competent, Limp Bizkit's 'Golden Cobra' is as lumpen, meat headed, dumb and well, aurally shite as the concept threatened…
It reminds me of being a kid. I used to have to catch the train from sleepy lil Warminister to Bath every day to go to school. At ten/eleven there was a single white line at the edge of the platform which according to some long lost historical anecdote I read, was because some asshat politician (NOOOOOOO!) on the opening of (a/the) railway stepped across the track to shake hands with some other self grandising asshat and was mowed down by a train. The white line was then instated to make people realise that THE EDGE OF THE PLATFORM WAS DANGEROUS!!!! See, History Towers are concerned with your health and safety too…
Still I digress, at 21 this solitary white line was augmented by a massive yellow stripe 3 feet in from the edge of the platform warning that it was dangerous and accompanied by a safety warring to that effect. What upset me was clearly the fact that in ten years we, as a species have gotten three feet thicker…
Now, stick with me, so imagine the type of individual that would then make music that is three feet thicker… step forward Mr fucking Durst…
and weep because it didn't have to be like this.

I saw one of Limp's first ever UK shows before their album came out over here. They opened for Korn back in 1997 on the 'Life Is Peachy' tour. Just before Korn started down the road to licking balls Limp were supporting them around the globe. Picture this:' Faith' hadn't been released and was a cool novelty, DJ Lethal was normal sized and still riding on House Of Pain cool and a red baseball cap wasn't the sign of a complete cunt.
Halcyon days right?

Nu Metal is a bad word in this day and age, but I will admit it was a time and a place phase that helped put a shot in the arm for metal even if only by inspiring kids to go out and learn to play instruments as a protest against it. I'll probably cop flak for this but the first self titled album is really good; from the opener 'Pollution' (even if Fwed does go a little bit Jon Davis at the end), 'Faith' before it was played to death was great, 'Indigo Flow' oozes cool and the whole thing was a satisfactory, if not slightly juvenile romp - funnily even like most debuts of that era.
By the time the second album 'Significant Other' was released 'Faith' had humped the American airways until it hissed air and Limp Bizkit were on their way to being huge. The sophomore album booted the door down, walked into the mainstream without taking it's sneakers off and sat down in your favourite chair. 'Break Stuff' was an awesome track but personally I thought the album as a whole sucked, there was 'Nookie' and that's about all I could stomach really. Then they became MTV darlings, appeared on the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack along side Metallica's 'I Disappear' - neither of which distracted the audience from John Woo phoning it in from behind massive bags of cash and suddenly they were every where; Fred become an A&R man for his record label (or maybe he always was) but suddenly from the banality of Limp Bizkit up shot household names for five minutes like Staind and Puddle of Mudd - boring ass grunge revivalists as turgid as the man himself shortly before Fred became a fully fledged record exec, toted around with celebrity mates like Ben Stiller and finally got round to making another album.


'Chocolate Starfish' (can't be fucked to give it the full title, I'd rather just crowbar another insult in)… god I can't even be bothered to write about it; you know 'Rollin', 'My Generation' yadda yadda yadda - huge, dumb and fucking everywhere.
Then it all went wrong somewhere - over saturation maybe?
Generation Xtremely fucking stoopid's attention span ran out or something, but Limp fell out spectacularly with Eminem over his Everlast beef and the wheels started to come off.
First up Wes 'the other one with talent' Borland jumped ship citing the fact that Limp were indeed shit and considering he could actually do better making incidental music for kids TV and it be more complicated, he wanted to do something different and made the musically more challenging, mad as a box of frogs and utterly, utterly bollocks Big Dumb Face album 'Duke Lion Fights The Terror' which not even his mum bought (although I know a man who did - not me!).
Limp came roaring back with Less Is More, no sorry Results May Vary. Which was exactly that, varied. Fred was seen screaming at Thora Birch in a video about sniffing her panties and Playlouder magazine called it 'fucking crap'.
The only good song is the last one where he takes a pop at Borland, so we can discard that one for now.
Out on tour supporting Metallica Fred was constantly heckled all summer and even walked off during the set in Chicago, he was in the papers claiming he dated Britney Speares, who bles her was so wacked out even she probably believed it for a few minutes...
And then they were gone….
Well they weren't some when in 2004 rumours grew of Borland playing with the band again (obviously studio time for releasing the sounds of your anus is expensive) and they released a seven track album called 'The Unquestionable Truth: Part 1' which sold slightly better than Borland's solo album - ie I know two people who brought it.
Then they were gone again when John 'Talented one' Otto went into Rehab. Apparently (thanks wikipedia) Fred then directed some movies. Seriously!

2008 and eight they came back to life as the original band - kind of like a reanimated corpse really, not to mention older, balder and fatter - for the none more camp Unicorns & Rainbows tour.
I saw them at Download 2009 on this tour and it was fun - no doubt. It was like a brief step back in time, like watching an episode of Beavis & Butthead, you chuckle and then you are out.


'Golden Cobra' is where the laughter stops for me.
Well not stops, but I just feel I'm no longer laughing with Fred & Co.
Rather at them.
That's right, fat boy, fat boy, fat boy, John Otto and Wes Borland actually released an album that makes the past seem erm, golden.
Not only is it musically shit but the lyrics that actually come from a grown man contain such biting lyrical gems as 'I'm gonna fuck you, fuck you, fuck you up - Douchebag!' On the imaginatively titled Douchebag and on lead single Shotgun apparently, 'Everybody jumps at the sound of a shogun, in my neighbourhood everybody got one'.
Personally when I heard this all I could think of was Hot Fuzz:
'Everyone and their Mum's are packing round ere'
'Like who?'
'Farmers'
'Who else?'
'Farmers Mum's'
Fred, you live in the 'burbs in your big mansion for crying out loud, you are as gangster as I am and I went to Private School.
I mean come on this was after previous efforts by the band had been labelled as 'a frightening insight into the vacuous state of 21st century culture' by Yahoo! Launch, that's right that intellectual tower YAHOO LAUNCH!
I find it incredible and yet unsurprising to find that Kerrang! have inducted Fred Durst into their Hall Of Fame… I expect my invitation in the next cereal packet I buy.
Even more incredulous is that the band have another album just about ready to go… what the fuck is wrong with everyone? Have I gone fucking mad?
I listened to Judas Priest's seminal 'Painkiller' album this week and though man, this is as incredible as the day I brought it and just think next year it'll be ten years old, then it dawned on me that it was release in 1992 - next year it'll be twenty years old! Someone mentioned a 'Nineties Revival Night' to me the other day… the nineties were a long time ago now.
The first Limp Bizkit album was a fun, but dumb experience when it was released in 1997, listening to 'Golden Cobra' fourteen years later the world has gotten considerably thicker than 3 feet in that time.

Flynn In The Face Of Adversity...?

'And Robb Flynn Wept For There Were No More Band Wagons To Conquer...'

I'm in the process of taking a retrospective blog and looking at the future this time out in something that could see me with egg on my face or people nodding sagely and saying the bloke with the ranty blog about shit no one listens to is right.
Presuming someone else finds it, reads it and forwards it on to them of course.

Still this bold move is because I am hoping to be proved wrong this time; in jumping the gun and laying my cards on the table too early I am seeing if I can be surprised again and get the cutlery to eat a large slice of humble pie.
It's not something I do often, I don't like the taste and even if I deserve it I'd usually make up some excuse like I'm allergic or something to avoid eating it.... but in this case I'd happily go back for seconds.

And the reason is that I'm talking about Machine Head here.

I got into metal when I was ten.
Iron Maiden were about to enter their difficult middle years which would cause even me to doubt them, Metallica hadn't yet crushed all before them with the Black album, Soundgarden had gotten round to Louder Than Love, Guns n Roses were actually a band and elsewhere even the Prodigy were still tripping their tits off in a warehouse hoping the bloke they were hugging wasn't a policeman.
So it was all established acts that had been around and were recommendations at that point.... by mid nineties I was out exploring my own music indulgences - Megadeth had given way to the far more superior SLAAAAYYYYYYEEEERRRR, the likes of Atomic Rooster and suggestions of Warrant had been laughed off in favour of Alice In Chains and a new generation of bands started appearing on the radar including Korn, Fear Factory and Machine Head, bands which were now 'mine' as I was there at the start.


In 1994 Machine 'Fucking' Head (as they are affectionately known) released the landmark Burn My Eyes, an album so massively good they managed to ride the shock waves of it's impact still to this day.
The live shows they backed this slab of incredible with saw them blow the aforementioned SLAAAAYYYYYYEEEERRRR off the stage whilst supporting them.
Yes you read that right, whisper it if you have to... SLAAAAYYYYYYEEEERRRR. Off. Stage. Granted they were touring the below par Divine Intervention album but still... impressive.
However problems were swiftly round the corner and the rotund of girth Chris Kontos was having problems remaining on the drum stool. When I saw them at Donington '95 they had to get their drum tech to stand (sit) in as the band member had suffered an allergic reaction to Brown M&Ms or something.


By the time it came to record their sophomore record - 1996's The More Things Change - he had been replaced by the more equipped to function slaphead Dave McClain. In quiet gatherings clandestine groups will mourn the fact that Kontos was a better drummer, but the fact is McClain has ably manned the kit for six of the band's soon to be seven studios albums and done a damn fine job of it live too.
Trouble was never far away for the band though and Pineapple Headed gurner and sometimes guitarist Logan Mader was next for the exit door. The recording process for TMTC had been fraught with problems and the strain on the inter band relationships had taken it's toll with Mader departing stating Flynn was a dictator, himself having crashed into rehearsals late and high as kite on meth insulting and cursing the other band members and wondered why he was given his P45.


Next recruit was the dubious appointment of one Ahrue Luster.
Not only did his arrival coincide with head scratching and a wondering who the guy with the polka dot bandanna was, but also a shift in public tastes. By now Nu Metal had the world in it's grip and the band ditched long term producer Colin Richardson for flavour of the month Ross Robinson (Korn, Limp Bizkit, At The Drive-In and Slipknot).
The Burning Red was an immensely popular album at the time - both critically and fan wise, but featured two songs which in corporate elements of rapping into the verses. Given that Flynn had cut his long thrasher hair off into a peroxide dyed spikey do and was seen wearing what suspiciously looked like Red PVC pimp outfits it was no surprise that mutterings began to take voice that Machine Head were chasing the bucks... the most famous to put voice to these feelings was former champion Kerry King who dismissed everything they had done since Burn My Eyes and it would turn into a petty war of words publicly between him and Flynn on a regular and boring basis.


If the Burning Red dodged this bullet, the follow up Supercharger got it both barrels, the reviews were lack luster, fan reception was underwhelming...
It is the worst thing that Machine Head have ever put their name to with many of the songs featuring rap elements, gay vocal lines and in the case of the god awful American High Flynn singing the riff accapella before the start of the song. Amazingly no pointed out that it sounded like a shit Tarzan cry until after it was released...
The odds weren't good and releasing a single called Crashing Around You accompanied by a video featuring skyscrapers on fire and falling into the earth on September 12th 2001 was just bad luck by any stretch...
Despite still delivering the goods live Machine Head's stock was falling fast.
Ahrue decided he didn't want to make 'heavy' music anymore and jumped ship, but not before taking the customary pop at Flynn's way of running the band.
I'd like to file him under the Where Are They Now rest home for non-descript losers who are a footnote in history, but sadly he joined Ill Nino for their second album and has made a fairly good stab at ensuring they aren't successful or heavy as well.
So actually after the unbelievably rubbish Enigma we'll leave him there...


It seemed highly likely that Machine Head would never rise again. A now bit part metal band out of fashion, out of time and out of a record deal in the US.
However Phil recruited former Vio-Lence running mate Phil Demmel and whilst Avenged Sevenfold and Killswitch were out making a name for metalcore the 'Head came roaring back with a thrash metal album once more.
A change in the musical landscape? Fresh input?
Whatever the band have delivered two stone cold classic metal albums in the form of The Ashes Of Empires and 2007s benchmark metal album The Blackening.


On the face of it you can't argue that Machine Head weren't back and making the kind of albums you thought they would follow TMTC with.
You would think it is Machine Head's time to step up and into the void that will be left when Judas Priest retire, when Slayer finally stop twitching and when Metallica realise they can probably just release packaging these days and people will buy it.


Until now.
14th June saw the release of 'Locust' (Advance Mix) the forth coming single (?) advance track or whatever the hell you call individual tracks release these days where no one makes any money from music, and the result is.... kind of underwhelming.

Everyone expecting a full on balls out track will be a little disappointed to put it mildly.

It's nearly as long as anything off the last two albums clocking in at nearly 8 minutes, it has the heavy/quiet/falsetto bit that they have been doing lately but it all sounds a bit... well phoned in. A bit weak. Poppy almost. Down right fucking odd at times... Flynn's vocals have always been a selling point on Machine Head to me and the bizarre pronunciation on the lyrics is extremely off putting.

Maybe I'm just being jaded and looking at it in the light of an album it'll make sure - it's memorable enough, but it makes me wonder if Machine Head are a little lost.
Twice they have blown through the current trend and found themselves out in front as leaders and then stumbled and fell.
Maybe they are better when they are the underdog, maybe they can take an idea and Machine Head it up a little and make it great - The Burning Red was the best Nu-Metal album ever released in essence - but when it comes to striking out on their own do they have the chops to be innovators?
I'm not convinced, sure they have the skills - you don't produce albums like Burn My Eyes and The Blackening by being 'okay' but then again you down make The Number Of The Beast, Reign In Blood or Master Of Puppets by being content and this is what concerns me.
'Locust' is average Machine Head by numbers and the band stand a chance of being crushed under the weight of expectation.
Of course I could be wrong... the track hasn't had it's final mix and it is a single piece of music I have waited four years to hear, but I fear a sense of Deja Vu is kicking in...
Prove me wrong Rob, prove me wrong...

When One Tribe Goes To War

'Brother will fight brother,
spilling blood across the land,
killing for religion - something I don't understand'
Holy Wars... Punishment Due - Megadeth

Since Dave Mustaine wrote the classic opener from Rust In Peace he has alleged it is about Israel, Northern Ireland, but lets face it with the Ginger Whinger it is probably about being kicked out of Metallica 800 years ago and how his life has been utterly consumed by this failure, no matter that he has gotten married, had kids, sold a couple of records and spent a large part of that time touring the world, off his screwed up little face and not working the daily grind like the rest of us.

Now that line got me thinking the other night and I realise I have started off with 'there is a cliche' before, but the best thing about that statement is it's true and it's a little bit of history repeating'. And anyway, it's my fucking blog - don't like it? Get yourself a Kindle or something.
My favourite failed glam rockers - pregrunge, grungy drug dustbins and kings of stoopid Love/Hate once wrote 'It's okay to be a cliche - everything under the sun has been done'.
Well sure that was their excuse, but having tried to be a better Motley, a darker GnR and a frankly bizarre post nineties mess for several albums they would know exactly how many wagons have rolled pasted since the mid eighties as they have tried to hitch a ride on most.
However the one (cliche) that cracks me up is the notion of metal fans as a united tribe.
Sure we're all against the mainstream, but honestly there is jock metal that hates fag metal; Goths are rivalled, baggy assed trouser wearing, stupid fringe sporting types, emos, nu metallers, grungers, moshers, glam rockers, thrash, death, black metal, stoner types, fucking proggers; Christ - every one a cliche and a target of scorn for someone… I know it deep down because we all have ideas what music should be and the worst corruption is the one that makes us feel uneasy about our own selves…
I'd like to be open minded, I mean I listen to Hip Hop quiet avidly, I listen to dance music and have been told I'm at the wrong festival by passers by at Donington for the tunes on my stereo, but deep down nothing offends me more than a metal band I deem shit… I would rather listent to Britney Spears gagging on Akon's cock (presuming he's straight or even has gentials) than listen to some of the crap out there that is pedalled as metal these days so I know how divided this 'tribe' rely is.

Take for example one of my favourite new bands Emmure, they divide people like marmite and to be fair I love them for this.
To recap, they aren't really new. They have been knocking around in one form or another since about 2003. They belong in the sub basement genre of what could only be described as Deathcore.
What is deathcore? You say.
Fuck knows. I don't even care at this point.


I read an article on them regarding their latest album 'Speaker Of The Dead' which was released last year. They come from the mean streets and are heavily hip hop influenced which appealed to me because it put so many people off them. They specialise in death metal heavy music with huge and simplistic hardcore breakdowns and violent lyrics.
In all honesty they are a bit shit when anylised from a musical point of view - a beatdown is not a valid musical passage when simply placed on it's own, yet alone when you try and create a whole song from one, or six strung together. In reality they make the jock swagger of Limp Bizkit seem like Tool at times but they are incredibly cathartic when you are in a super pissed off mood - songs like Dogs Get Put Down and 4 Poisons 3 Words channel a senseless rage that make it the perfect music to vent the rat race frustration.
It's not for everyone, like Dream Theatre aren't right for me, like Slipknot aren't right for me, like BFMV, like some of the fringy, tight jeaned shit makes me want to punch the Hot Topic crowd in their stupid faces and bust open lips with piercings… but the amount of hate they attract on the internet is quite frankly hilarious.
None more cool sites like Metal Sucks or Blabbermouth hate on these guys so much I HAD to like them due to the moronic and inaneness of the people who post on there... if Emmure were really that terrible(which on some level they are and they aren't) I'd still love them because the 'in crowd' has such a problem with them.
They have their place in the order of things, they serve their purpose and if I'm feeling mad at the world I will drive home screaming, 'I don't want you, I don't need you - I have no reason to please or appease you and if you're not with me in this fight, then I'm walking away tonight'.
The thing is it made me realise is that much like those that used to be friends make the worst enemies; the music that (in the ear of the beholder) screws with what you love is truly the thing that gives you the most problem.
That and all the trappings that go with it.
Much like there will never be peace in Africa, The Middle East, Northern Ireland… brother will fight brother and the notion of a united tribe is fantastic pipe dream that just won't happen.
You grebeo douchebags.

Iron Maiden - A Band of Three Halves?

May the 4th be with you...
History Towers throws open it's doors once again and welcomes you to it's new surroundings from a technically different location.
If you wouldn't mind taking your shoes off at the door and keeping the noise down around the Degu cage you can make yourselves comfortable.
Yes folks my move went through, the lovely lady and I are in and so on International Star Wars Day I thought I'd kick back off with this masive missive I began penning way back in April.

Okay it was only a matter of time before I wrote about Iron Maiden...
It isn't a shock and we all know it won't be the last time either, so if you are not interested tune out now as this is some serious geekery about to unfold.
The motivation for this piece was because I have talked a lot about the nineties of late - most likely because I was there first hand to witness Metal stutter and attempt to evolve, but somewhere in the passage of time I have come to realise the nineties were a whole decade ago... where does the time fly?
The most significant thing in music for me to happen in the last ten years of music was the reunion of Bruce Dickinson and Adrian Smith with Iron Maiden and the subsequent four albums they have released.

I remember it like yesterday; it was 1999 and I was in halls of residence at university. It was probably a weekday as we were all pretty wrecked and the sun was certainly high enough to denote afternoon... who knows, as I said we were wrecked - the excuse? A day ending in Y probably.
The news came over the communal kitchen radio that the duo had returned; quite frankly this news was better than sex and promptly myself and one of my good friends ran around like giddy schoolgirls shrieking until we located the only Iron Maiden CD in the house (my collection was either on tape or confined to nostalgia at this point), the Paul Di'Anno fronted Killers.
You couldn't make it up.
Annnyyyywwaaaayyy...

The nineties were dark years for Maiden and this is something no one can deny. After conqueroring the eighties with an astounding run of albums; Adrian Smith left to pursue his own interests, Steve built a studio in the barn in his back garden, Dickinson changed his vocal style and long time producer Martin Birch announced imminent retirement. Whilst I have the luxury of viewing No Prayer For The Dying and Fear Of The Dark through youthful and Maiden tinted glasses (being my first new music by the band) the fact is that 'Prayer' sounds like a badly produced take on AC/DC style Rock n Roll and 'Fear' has nearly 50% filler.
Then Dickinson left.
Then Grunge exploded.
Then Day-Glo Punk exploded
Then Harris' father died and he got divorced.
By the time the X Factor rolled round in the mid nineties things were pretty dire in Camp Maiden and arguably only getting worse.

Smith had been adequately replaced for the proceeding two albums it seemed by 'Manic' Janick Gers who, admittedly can pen a good tune, but is an absolute travesty live where his insistence on skipping everywhere, throwing his guitar over his shoulder and not bothering to play the half the notes because he's 'off the wall' is frankly infuriating (especially now Smith is back and can actually play HIS solos) and grips my shit even seeing him live, yet alone on DVD where you can actually pay attention to the mangled guitar parts...

With Renaissance man Dickinson gone off to sing solo, fly solo, fence solo, DJ solo, write books solo, slag Maiden off solo and generally do other stuff (solo), Harris turned to Tamworth Terror and vertically challenged missing link, Blaze Bayley of Wolfsbane.
Now I want to be clear, I don't hate Blaze Bayley... (well maybe I do a little). When he was in Wolfsbane I loved him - Downfall The Good Guys is an awesome album, and I was rooting for them to become big. Just as it seemed they might, the short list came up for prospective Maiden candidates - I think the best two mentioned were original singer Di'Anno (who then - and now - looked like an inflated, geriatric Evan Seinfeld on crack) and Blaze.
It wasn't a vote but my support was with Blaze, a good solid down to earth guy who could sing. It cost Wolfsbane their career, a sad footnote in the story, but sacrifices have to be made... this is Iron Maiden, Godammit.
The anticipation built all summer long and then finally somewhere around September 1995 Man On The Edge was released as a single.
It wasn't great, but it wasn't the end of the world; that slight deflating feel that (deep down you knew) it wasn't that good was pushed to one side - album tracks were where the band cut their teeth these days.
Yeah... maybe not. The X Factor was a dirgy piece of work from start to finish in my opinion, flat monotone vocals, lumpen repetitive rifs and rubbish production. Even the Eddie on the front is a new level of shit.
It would honestly make it into my worst albums of all time, if not for the follow up release of Virtual IX, which apart from a slightly better cover has no redeeming features at all in my book. The notes Blaze had managed to hit on the X Factor were gone and if I hear that 'Lightning Strikes' chorus again it'll be about the 457th time and I only got half way through the album.
It's a dog. Truly and utterly. And it's only eight tracks long too - writing on the wall time?
And more importantly it had, up until that sunny day in 1999, completely and utterly destroyed my love for the band and Blaze Bayley, who in one move had broken up a much loved band and killed the best band in the world - and that's without talking about the piece of crap that is the Virus song they recorded for The Best Of The Beast - Metallica didn't lose the plot this bad with St Anger for fucks sake.

But a new millennia promised much; Smith and Dickinson back, a producer on board - the band even charitably kept Gers... who has now, much to my chagrin, been in Maiden LONGER THAN ADRIAN SMITH!!!!!!! - and embarked on a new chapter and this is what (after the extended intro) is what I wanted to talk about.
Maiden post 2000.


Coming in 2000 itself Brave New World is rightly hailed as a modern Maiden classic - certainly the first great album for a decade and the natural successor to Seventh Son. It benefits from having a decent producer - not a hearing damaged, control freak bassist and the energy crackles from the off. The Wickerman is balls out and aggressive, Brave New World is majestic, Blood Brothers goes on forever but the whole thing sounds fucking awesome even now; the cover was sharp and the band who were looking like booking tours of Guilford Hall and The Duck & Pond Anywhere, were suddenly headlining Rock In Rio to quarter of a million people. It must have hurt Harris' notorious pride to admit he was wrong, but the band needed Dickinson. Happily he'd also seen sense toward the latter half of the nineties and had reconnected with Smith. Whilst Maiden were acting like a donkey caught in a tar pit, they had produced the amazing double whammy of Accident of Birth and Chemical Wedding - proper metal albums again.
Smith rejoining was the icing on the cake... (and one of the conditions of Dickinson returning) now if only they would give him back his eighties solos...


Dance Of Death followed in 2003 and was again well received. In wracking my brain over this I have to say it comes last of all the albums they have released since the reunion. Don't get me wrong, I loved it at the time; Rainmaker, Smith penned war epic Paschendale, the title track, the led cajonnes of Face In The Sand, the title track, the acoustic Journeyman's Day... I still love it now, but if this was an offspring choosing competition it would be the red headed step child for many issues.
The cover is crap, a half rendered CGI masquerade ball with Eddie as the reaper, the half finished mix because Mr Harris listened to Kevin Shirley's daily recording one day and said 'That sounds great to me'. No More Lies indeed Steve, you're fucking deaf, I could go on but it would be uncharitable and a little like swearing in Church.
Still, when compared to the four nineties albums, it is a strong release and praised at the time with it's lavish stage show. Which I fucking missed to go stand at the back of a massive shed with no video screens and watch Metallica for the fourth time on the Madly In Anger At The World tour... not even the 5.1 HD DVD makes up for not seeing Paschendale with it's incredible trench warfare production.


A Matter Of Life Or Death arrived in 2006 and wow... Maiden's second longest album is a heavy weight affair that deals with war and religion all the way through. This is Prog Metal with all it's pomp and status - where as the band used to gallop they now march and ludicrously Dickinson sounds better on this album than he does on half the albums that have gone before it.
This is the album that saw massive cracks appear in the Maiden fan base as to the embracing of this direction. To me (once again terrible, thin, production aside) this is one of the pinnacles in an incredible career. The middle four songs on this album are some of the best ever recorded - Brighter Than A Thousand Suns, For The Greater Good Of God, The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg and The Longest Day... the album is not filled with tracks I would listen to individually a lot (the single Breeg as an exception) but as a complete piece it is just phenomenal and having seen the whole thing live it has to live with me as one of my favourite Maiden experiences.


And so to last year... 2011.
The Final Frontier arrived with rumours rife that the title was also reference to an old quote from Harris that he wanted to make 15 albums (this was back when they recorded Piece Of Mind in 1983). Thankfully rebuffed since it does highlight a very really and scary thought (for me anyway) that Maiden probably only have another 5 years left to run...
But what of the album?
It is another heavy slice of prog metal, but easily the most forward looking album for a long time. The chorus' are insanely singable, the production works and there are many bizarre twists and turns on this record. Of course for the fans who love Aces High, The Trooper and Two Minutes To Midnight, sombre epics like The Man Who Would Be King and When The Wind Wind Blows are going to seriously piss in the soup of rockers like El Dorado, the title track and The Alchemist but it spans an incredible seventy odd minutes of remarkable music that makes Maiden as vital and as great now as they have ever been no matter what Andy fucking Sneap says.

Make no mistake, the Maiden of this decade thunder like the days of old and unite the tribes with huge anthemic songs that put to shame the young pretenders half their age.The albums may divide opinion to shit or great, but live they are bigger, better and bolder than, well anyone. Sure I am biased as hell but having seen them conqueror Sonisphere last year with a set that show cased the reunion albums they have achieved the accolade of keeping relevant after a 30 year career which in itself is an incredible feat.
Due to the haze of nostalgia surrounding Maiden and their part in strengthening the metal genre in the eighties it would be easy to put together a top ten list of their classics... Run To The Hills, Aces High, Minutes, Hallowed, Seventh Son, Number Of The Beast etc which doesn't consider anything after 1988's Seventh Son and I would honestly struggle to praise their nineties material beyond Fear Of The Dark so as an exercise in education my recommendations for Maiden's Top Ten Songs post 2000 would be as follows:

1. Benjamin Breeg - AMOLAD
2. Brave New World - BNW
3. Starblind - TFF
4. Brighter Than A Thousand Suns - AMOLAD
5. The Wickerman - BNW
6. Paschendale - DOD
7. For The Greater Good Of God - AMOLAD
8. When The Wild Wind Blows - TFF
9. Coming Home - TFF
10. Rainmaker - DOD

But to be honest with you it is almost impossible to look at that list accurately considering the omissions... and particularly as I think Brave New World is a better album than Dance... I would have thought it would be simple.

(Album rankings
1. A Matter Of Life And Death
2. Brave New World/The Final Frontier
4. Dance Of Death)

I can name my favourite Metallica tracks of the last decade on one hand, okay that's a cheat maybe we'll say 15 to include the last four albums.
Bleeding Me
The Outlaw Torn
St Anger
Broken, Beat, Scared
No Leaf Clover... done!

Open that list to ten and I think I'd just do it but not have much passion left by 9 and 10 which shows how good Maiden have become in the final third of their career.
I'll stop rambling now... roll on August.

Bullet In The Head

Okay so when it comes to Bullet For My Valentine, highlighting things that annoy me is like fishing. In a barrel. With Dynamite. I mean, they had so much promise and I can accept the argument for why we need bands like Linkin Park and BFMV as not everyone is going to put on a Meshuggah album for the first time and decide that progressive mathcore death metal is the one true form of music - I know I didn't, but what infuriates me is that I saw this interview on Blabbermouth and the whole lack of passion and intelligence in the answer astounded me.
I think what has struck me is the amount of rockstars who are dying recently - Dio, Paul Gray, Jimmy The Rev' Chamberlain and of course last week Mike Starr - and Matt Tuck once again fails to exhibit any passion despite having a seemingly increasing (and bafflingly) successful career.

Anyway without further ado, the article giving me an ulcer this month:

BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE Frontman:
'We're Kind Of An Easy, Accessible-Style Metal Band'

Music-Photocalypse.net recently conducted an interview with vocalist/guitarist Matt Tuck of Welsh metallers Bullet For My Valentine. A couple of excerpts from the chat follow below.

Music-Photocalypse.net: I've read an interview where you said that you opened the doors to the metal genre, made it more mainstream, and that there would be a bunch of people who wouldn't care if it wasn't for you. Isn't it the essence of metal to go against the stream?

Matt: I don't know, why would you say that?

Music-Photocalypse.net: Well, being a part of this subculture, people are trying to go against the "establishment."

Matt: What's an establishment? Government or something?

Music-Photocalypse.net: In some cases the government, but mostly something that's considered "normal" to the public, let's just say so. Metalheads have a certain dress code and stand out from the crowd. And you're just trying to bring in everyone, which in a way is a good thing, but you know, it's so hard to share your favourite bands with the rest of the world.

Matt: I don't know, I just see it as the more the merrier, why would we limit ourselves to a certain scene. It just seems kind of silly. As a profession to limit our opportunities, it doesn't make sense to me.

Music-Photocalypse.net: So you think that you can stay true to metal and still make it mainstream without going more pop?

Matt: I think we already have. You disagree? If you do, that's fine.

Music-Photocalypse.net: I don't disagree, I'm asking you.

Matt: Yeah, we're in this to make a career out of what we do, we don't want to limit ourselves and close doors and we don't have to. We can be as heavy as fuck, if we wanna be, you know, but as long as we realize what makes people want to listen to our band and we give them that a little bit on an album, then I think it doesn't matter, it's cool.

Music-Photocalypse.net: And you truly believe that you opened the doors to get more people into metal?

Matt: Yeah, we're kind of an easy, accessible-style metal band for people who aren't interested in the genre of hard rock metal music. That we do it a bit more commercial, so then they will listen to us, they'll read our influences affected by bands like METALLICA, MEGADETH or PANTERA. You have a band like METALLICA and a band like PANTERA — it's not the same fucking genre of music. And if we inspire people to go and buy, I don't know, a fucking KILLSWITCH ENGAGE album, who are kind of a melodic metal band as we are, but maybe a notch up on the heaviness, I think, that's a good comparison. And then you go to bands like BLEEDING THROUGH and just experiment and go heavier, it doesn't mean that you can't like BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE, because you like BLEEDING THROUGH, it's just silly in my opinion. That's why we opened the doors to help people get into hard rock and metal music.


Jesus Wept.
'we're in this to make a career out of what we do'?
'we don't want to limit ourselves and close doors and we don't have to'?
' as long as we realize what makes people want to listen to our band and we give them that a little bit on an album'?

Ignore the first couple of dull as ditchwater answers if you like, you know the ones where he is being either massively thick or deliberately obtuse, but the lack of passion in the three lines directly above, yet alone,
'As a profession to limit our opportunities, it doesn't make sense to me.'
smacks of a serious problem to me.
There is a worrying lack of passion in just about everything Tuck has said in his last couple of interviews - from claiming that he wasn't even sure if ever they were metal (covered in last years album reviews) to this cold assessment on being accessible.
I know everyone wants a career like Maiden and Metallica's but according to the press BFMV et al are carrying the torch for the new generation of rock music, in ten years time we are unlikely to have Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Metallica, Motorhead, AC/DC, Testament, any form of Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper, Def Leppard even - the list goes on... people who have put themselves on the line for the music I love and have stuck by their guns when times have been hard, suffered physically, mentally and often paid for it with their lives and who will carry their legacy with the same passion and conviction?
Make no mistake, I have no problem with BFMV's existence, just as I had no problem with Linkin Park (Until Minutes To Midnight) but you can hardly support them when they show such lack of passion... I read an interview with the dudes from Amon Amarth (pseudo death metal, Viking influenced nonsense) and whilst I do not like what they do particularly, one of the guys talked about not wanting to write commercial songs for the record sales because then it would be a job and would kill the passion of what he does - THAT is what I want to hear someone say in an interview, have some pride, have some passion!

I turn to the prophet Bill Hicks who had this one thing to say on the mediocre and banal.
“Fuck that! I want my rocks stars dead. I want them to fucking play with one hand and put a gun in their other fucking hand and go 'I hope you enjoyed the show'. BANG.”

Play from the heart man, play from the heart... or at least as Eminem says 'Fake like you know it' for the sake of your plastic audience...

Another One Gone...

For me yesterday began as any other, get to work, yak about the football for 10 minutes, stumble down to the kitchen to make a coffee and checking Facebook on the way.
A life lost in the tragedy of routine you might say...
One simple glance on the news feed put all my worldly woes for the day into perspective; a simple statement read:

Members of Alice in Chains are mourning the loss of their friend and ask that the media respect their privacy - and the privacy of the Starr family - during this difficult time. Their thoughts & prayers are with the Starr family.

RIP Michael Christopher "Mike" Starr April 4, 1966 – March 8, 2011.

The tragic, but somehow inevitable death of the former Alice In Chains bassist came 8 years and 11 months after the much publicised death of their lead singer Layne Stayley and will naturally generate less column inches, but is no less of a loss to the rock world, another huge talent first lost then snuffed out by addiction.

Mike Starr, the subject of the book Unchained : The Story of Mike Starr and His Rise and Fall in Alice In Chains was an original member of Diamond Lie and integral in their morph into Alice In Chains. He played on their Facelift, Dirt and Sap releases, contributing his rumbling basslines to some of the bands most definitive music.

Starr is probably best known for being the 'dude on bass with curly hair' such is the media focus on Cantrell and Stayley and it is something of a shame that his replacement in Mike Inez shares a similar image and yesterday I had to correct a guy who thought Starr played on the Unplugged album...

Like the rest of the band Starr had a fondness for heroin and struggled to maintain a working relationship in the band. Let's face it, to be asked to leave before Stayley due to your ability to function on drugs is a pretty hardcore thing to have happen.

After leaving AIC Starr played in Sun Red Sun with Ray Gillen and Bobby Rondinelli who were both hired guns who spent time standing behind Tony Iommi in whatever version of Sabbath was pretending it was still relevant at the time, however bad luck was not far away and the project was cut short when Gillen died.

Since then Starr battled with his demons and recently resurfaced on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2010 and spent time living in the spin off Sober House.
Cantrell and Kinney both spoke out about their former bandmate and aired their views on the show:

"I totally back Mike and I back his efforts to get clean and remain somebody that I and the band really care about — he’s a friend of ours, you know, and we wish him the best." Jerry Cantrell

"So I don't support that show at all and I think it's pretty disgusting. But Mike getting his life together or anybody doing that, I'll support that." Sean Kinney

Sadly his six month clean stint would be cut short in the November of 2010 when he was arrested for possession and all reports of his recent passing indicate an overdose.
He will be eulogised in the press for being a addict who is a loser in the Charlie Sheen sense that he died, but I for one will always remember that incredible sound that he brought to Alice In Chains and the impact those first two albums had.

If you've got five minutes look up Would? on YouTube, dig out Dirt from your record collection and celebrate the good of the man's life.

Thank you Mike, you were genuinely part of something that changed my life as a teenager and speaking to friends over the course of the last twenty four hours I know I am not alone in this.
You are free now and I hope you find peace.

The Nineties Part One - Turning of the Decade and the Impact of Grunge

I find it sadly ironic that having had to delay this post for a few weeks due to several interruptions, house buying and general lethargy, when I come to post this reflection on Grunge that today is the day I learn of the demise of Mike Starr, former bassist for Alice In Chains...
I will pen a more fitting tribute to you than this dude, but for now say thank you and RIP - Would? has been my favourite song since I heard it and Dirt remains in my top albums of all time.


I started to think about the Nineties and began to write about it as threatened, but started to realise what a can of worms this was opening up... there is so much scope to focus on as the genre of metal diversified that this is going to either be a war and peace style tome or barely scratch the surface in one article.
As a result I thought I'd break it down into bite sized chunks dealing with whatever bits take my fancy at the time, this way we can revisit and make a background theme of decade as I lived it.

So to kick this off I thought I'd deal with one of the biggest movements that had a profound cultural impact and changed the way Metal moved forward in this decade, Grunge.

Metal began with everyone looking like bad trip hippies back in the late 60's - Sabbath had flares and long hair and a bad attitude born from their industrial upbringing, Zepplin had a swagger that bemoaned the 'bow down and kiss the flowers, man' of the love generation... by the time AC/DC and Judas Priest came on the scene all snarls and leather and Alice Cooper and Kiss were corrupting the youth on the other side of the pond it was common for dirty looking dudes with long hair to be caught rocking out.
In the Eighties styles got more and more outrageous, Bruce Dickinson fronting Iron Maiden seemed on a mission to constantly out do himself by sporting some of the most revolting and frankly embarrassing spandex trousers to ever been conceived - like some sort of colour blind, fruity harlequin who had been victim of an explosion in a child's dressing up box.
Over in LA, Sunset Strip to be more exact, Glam Metal was in it's ascendancy. Approaching image with the attitude that Alice, Marc Bolan of T Rex, Bowie et al had only given gender bending a half hearted stab, bands like Motley Crue, Poison and even Ratt (despite Steven Pearcy having a face like a welder's bench) pushed the chick with a dick look as far as they could go. So far in fact that Hanoi Rocks Drummer killing, DUI loving, Heroin guzzling, lyposuction fan Vince Neil of the Crue inspired Aerosmith (not exactly the most manly looking bunch on the block) to pen the anthem 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' - Steven Tyler, this saucer of milk is yours.
By the mid eighties concerts must have been a nightmare, trying to see over teased barnets and chocking on hair spray, and trying to smoke? Forgetaboutit...
Thank God that Thrash became an outlet for guys who couldn't squeeze into their girlfriend's leopard print clothing and totter about on heels pretending to be LA Trash.

If thrash was too hard for you or your girlfriend didn't like it and yet you couldn't stand the current scene, then the death nail in looking like an ugly hooker was brewing in a far flung corner of the US... Seattle of all places - previously known for guitar burning legend Jimi Hendrix and thinking man's Metal band with a shit name Queensryche.
Now I have never been, but I have watched Sleepless In Seattle and can only opine this; It rains all the time apparently, Tom Hanks was pushing the boundaries of nauseating, Meg Ryan was way past her When Harry Met Sally best and how anyone can suffer from insomnia there is beyond me - it's no wonder that in order to be in a band there you had to have a smack habit.
Given the proclivity for opiates that was rife on the scene it is not hard to see why back combing hair, applying make up, walking around on stack heels became less and less of a priority to pasty and thin young men nodding off in the corner and drooling - the rise of the flannel shirt in popularity should come as no surprise.

Grunge actually began back in the mid eighties as a fledgeling part of the alternative rock scene incorporating punk, metal, alternative, even pop music played through fuzzy distorted amps. Mark Arm of Mudhoney and the Puget Sound based record label SubPop were at the epicentre of a movement that rippled out across the globe although many of the originators of the genre were uncomfortable with the popularity that it eventually gained.
The ethos of grunge was diametrically opposed to the hair metal scene, songs about personal and dark subject matter, filtered through obscure references, coupled with often downbeat sounding music as opposed to getting high and wasted, shagging chicks (presumably if you could figure out the difference) and a desire to be famous was the order of the day.

These days you say Grunge and most people think of Nirvana.
The fact is that the genre was much more diverse and blessed with greater song writing abilities and talents than it's popular image would suggest and the notion that any scruffy looking berk with a drug habit and a guitar could bash out three chords and be famous belies the beauty found in the primal howl of Mudhoney or the stately introspection of Screaming Trees and the million and one other bedroom dwelling bands that never got a major label deal.


The fact is that the album that essentially 'broke' the genre was Alice In Chains' 'Facelift'.
Formed in 1987 by Jerry Cantrell and vocalist Layne Stayley; the band had a brief stab at the hair thing, calling themselves the none more shit Diamond Lie, writing songs that looking back are hilarious considering what they would become such as (the) 'I Can't Have You Blues'. Fortunately, trainee junkies as they were, they discovered that their true talents lay in writing harrowing songs about getting drugs, doing drugs and feeling shit about doing drugs - focused through a prism of incredible vocal interplay between the two.
Man In The Box and We Die Young became hits on MTV and Alice's slightly metallic blend of alternative rock earned them an opening spot on the Thrash tour Clash Of The Titans which earned them a place in the hearts of metal fans. Released on Sony the album sold well, just as another bunch of flannel wearing miserables were preparing to unleash their rock changing debut...


Pearl Jam released the epic 'Ten' to a rapturous reception. Not as heavy or as overtly dark as 'Facelift' this album was brimming with hits such as 'Even Flow', classroom murder tale 'Jeremy' and the played so much you'd punch it in the face 'Alive'.
Coupled with strong albums from Soundgarden, Screaming Trees and, yes Nirvana, the grunge scene was developing momentum at an alarming rate. Real life characters like the Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder - all soulful voice and surfer dude cliche was a stark contract to the (now frankly) ropey looking drag queens with high voices clogging up the charts.
The seriously epic deluge occurred when every major label rushed to sign a grunge act to cash in on the next big thing. Geffen picked up the relatively popular and momentum building Nirvana whose 'Bleach' debut was a downtuned slice of primal fuzz rock. To be fair if you hadn't heard the track 'Silver' off odds and sods record 'Incesticide' you would have probably never seen what came next.


Recruiting uber producer Butch Vig, Nirvana attempted to marry, in Cobain's words, Black Sabbath and The Pixies... whether this is an accurate description of the music on 'Nevermind' is a sidebar in the debate. What is a matter of fact is that within three chords the rock world changed. Throwing a lavish budget at the band, Geffen went all out to ensure that Nevermind was a success and it seemed for a while like the whole album would be released as a single as hit followed hit, In Bloom, Lithium, Come As You Are, On A Plain and of course Smells Like Teen Spirit.
It would be easy to get bogged down with talking about Nirvana at this point - Cobain became the unwilling spokesman for Generation X, there is the much written about marriage to Courtney Love, the acerbic follow up In Utero, Cobain's alleged suicide/murder depending on who you want to believe... but I'm talking about Metal here.

Grunge dramatically changed the landscape, you can argue all day the merits of Grunge being classed as metal but bands like Alice In Chains, Soundgarden and Faith No More all owed an obvious debt to the genre and gave it back in sound, no matter how much Mike Patton (FNM's mad-as-a-box-of-frogs, fond of shitting in hotel hairdryers vocalist) tried to deny it.
Other bands may have tried to distance themselves but it was a new brand of heavy rock that was embraced by the masses and made reluctant stars out of many of the scenes leading lights and inspired acts across the world to jump on the band wagon to great effect - Detroit's Stone Temple Plagiarist's - I mean Pilots, or to no effect at all - Bristol's Send No Flowers.
By 1994 when Cobain decided to inspect the end of his mates shotgun, the backlash against the misanthropic angst of Grunge had started with a Clash rip off band intoning, 'Do you have the time, to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything at all'.
Green Day's 'Dookie' and The Offspring's 'Smash' countered pop cultures obsession with the Seattle sound with a bright, cheerful pop-punk sound, the perfect antidote... by 1995 the effect on metal was quite palpable.
Sales were down and previously popular bands were suffering - long haired rockers found themselves without a gravy train to ride; Iron Maiden lost Bruce Dickinson and suffered their first set of bad reviews with 1995's lacklustre X Factor being as well received as Ozzy Osbourne at the Alamo and before Metallica's set at that years Donington festival they joked that their appearance had been canceled due to metal being dead.
Easy to laugh on the back of the 'Black Album' but the new material previewed that night was blues heavy rock and roll and in the following months all the band members would get their hair cut short, much like the recent image change undergone by Bon Jovi, Def Leppard main man Joe Elliot and the miserable looking dude who stands at the front of Paradise Lost...
As much as Grunge helped reinvigorate the guitar music scene, it crippled the careers of some (admittedly bad) very poplar bands and from an outside perspective the scene was in an unfortunate state of decline...