Urine Extraction

Stumbled across this whilst trawling the web today.
And I swear I didn't do it.
But I wish I had.

Another Fine Mess I've Got Me Into

Just when I think I'm out they pull me back in...

Davey Does Politics

Dave's got something to say...


Back in the eighties, old Silyvester The Cat Megadave was full of piss and vinegar.
And Heroin.
He spent his days railing against Metallica, society, Metallica, authority, Metallica, the Regan era, Metallica, God, Metallica... you get the picture, he was one angry douchebag, but this was kind of endearing at times really.
Sure he couldn't pen as good a tune as Metallica, and the whole camp of one or the other was a bit pantomime, but I for one loved the fire that burned inside the flame haired whine machine and you cannot doubt some of the epic songs he produced on Peace Sells..., So Far..., Rust..., Countdown..., even Youthanasia.

At some point between donning a plaid shirt and writing shit like 'Crush 'Em' Megadave had a spiritual awakening and found Jesus. Apparently Jesus doesn't like drunken, angry, smackheads who sing about black magic rituals so he cleaned up his act and got back to being political.
Okay so fair enough, I'm not suggesting that for me to like an artist they need to be angry and high as a kite (*cough Trent Reznor*), but I think Dave said he preferred Aerosmith when they were on drugs - well touché Silvester, tou-fucking-ché...

Recently Megadave and JuniorDave (reunited and newly God bothering bassist Dave Ellefson) have done nothing but hack on about how they want a Republican in the White House and how they are Christian.
Great.. That's wonderful!
I had a foot infection once and I don't keep going on about it because it has nothing to do with anything you are about.
'We talk about Jesus, because people keep asking us' - JuniorDave
Well tell them to fuck off with their irrelevant questions, talk about your fucking music would ya? That's what you are there to push!

And then the crowning turd in the water pipe was last week when MegaDave was interviewed by Josh Kerns for Sunday's episode of "Seattle Sounds", which airs on on Seattle's KIRO 97.3 FM radio station.
When asked if he supports gay marriage, Mustaine said, "Well, since I'm not gay, the answer to that would be no."
Dave was then questioned if he would support legislation to make marriage between a man and another man legal. He replied, "I'm Christian. The answer to that would be no."
Now I appreciate that it's a set up news story, but honestly who the fuck appointed this guy the moral guardian of American?
Republicans, opposing gay rights... get your pitchforks and torches here comes Daaavvvvvveeee!

Whatever happened to the guy who sang Peace Sells and Devil's Island or even I Ain't Superstitious?
I'll be sure to look out the lyrics on the album after your Iraq/Iran invading, Israeli supporting republican head of state is next elected.
It is this kind of half baked bullshit statements that led Hank Williams III to comment to TMZ.com that most musicians, including his own dad, are "not worthy" of a political discussion.

Save it for the cross burning, Adolf.

Larz sayz 'Youz Are All Stoopidz'

Larz reacts to continued hatred of Lulu

Sure, it's easy to tell when everyone's least favourite Metallicat has his mouth open as he is usually talking around his foot... I have tried to keep away from the contentious issue of how a once great band could continuously vomit out at least fifteen years of crap and still sell out stadiums at the drop of a hat, but sure enough the Tubby Tub Thumper was back in the meeja this week trying to act all cool on the subject of Lulu, like a teenage boy trying to impress a girl from the other side of a disco hall.

The summation?
Well get this,
'Listen, there are some very, very, very hardcore metal fans out there that like everything pre-packaged in a particular little box that looks like this, and the minute that you slightly veer outside of that, then they have a hernia.' And that's fine — I'm fine with that. People have to understand, and I think I've been saying this for the better part of 30 years now... And I understand that there are some people that resent that, because they want METALLICA to kind of just do what they want METALLICA to do'

So there we have it last - month it was 'the people he respects and listens to tell him it's great' and now it's not successful because you and I are all a bunch of narrow minded fuckfaces who wouldn't know art or good music or what have you if it bit you on the bum.
So there nerr, Lars is right and 'In about 900 years from now, people will be able to talk about 'Lulu' face to face with each other without hiding behind masks. So we look forward to that day.'

Let me pause a minute to wipe the tears of laughter from my keyboard there Mr Ulrich...

Right, I'll take your accusation, I CAN be extremely narrow minded when I want to be, I'm not, as a glance at my music collection would reveal, but that aside if I represent the very, very, very hardcore fan what about my friends? What about my acquaintances? What about Joe Public?
Let me make this clear I don't know ANYONE who likes Lulu and the piss in the ocean amount it has sold would suggest that I am really, really, really not alone in this - Christ you got a reaction out of Tom Araya over it and that guy is so laid back fronting Slayer he's like a lounge act compare these days.

So Lou Reed had his feelings hurt?
So Fucking What? (eh? eh!?!) Judging by the last couple of album reviews he got he should be used to people calling him out on making crap AND it's the same with you lot.

I'm not slating Lulu because it's different or not Metallica - I have put up with 'Tallica for 19 years now in place one of my favourite bands when you decided you were bigger than metal - I'm slating it because it's fucking awful.
The fact that Lou reed can't be arsed with more than three takes, the fact that you guys clearly didn't finish the music (but what's new there eh?) is the issue here and you clearly have your head up your ass to be so blind.
I'm not wearing a mask, I'll talk to anyone - I'll talk to you! - face to face without hiding behind a mask and to paraphrase departed hero Bill Hicks:
Quick capsule review: Piece of shit. Thank you. If you see a piece of shit don't be afraid to call it a piece of shit. Don't get caught up in the phoney debate of is it art or not. Call it what it is - a piece of shit.

I have to stop checking Blabbermouth for my own sanity...

Your Life Style Determines Your Death Style

My Great Grandfather was an Artillery Gunner in the First World War and a heavy smoker, because let's face it back in those days it was marketed as good for you.
Despite these odds he lived to a fairly decent age but eventually the cordite from the guns and the years of smoking caught up with him and his lungs disintegrated.
Why do I bring this up in a blog about Metal Music?
Well, the point is that my last memories of him were of a frail old man getting weaker and less present with each visit that got further and further apart, until sadly he passed away and as my first childhood experience of death it left a profound sadness that was in truth long overdue by the time his passing was announced.

This week Life of Agony drummer Sal Abruscato announced to the world that the band were officially calling it quits. In a interview in Poland whilst touring for his new venture, the surprisingly good A Pale Horse Named Death he stated,
'"We're not gonna play [anymore]. We moved out of our studio. We all kind of feel like we're at the end. We're never gonna make another record, because of those kinds of problems I was talking about [earlier in the interview] — we can't agree on writing a song. And Keith [Caputo, vocals] wants to pursue his life and his lifestyle. And that's pretty much the reason why also I've moved on and I'm doing my own thing… to just keep going; I didn't want my career to stop with LIFE OF AGONY. LIFE OF AGONY doesn't tour, LIFE OF AGONY doesn't do much. And so we were at a point where it was like… We did the last three shows in July [2011] and then we moved out of our studio, and that's it. I don't foresee anything in the future; I highly doubt it. I don't know how that would happen."

This statement echoes earlier hints by the band's frontman Keith Caputo that,
"We realize that LIFE OF AGONY has become an extremely nostalgic act and the music that used to not be dated, in our eyes, is dated, and the whole situation is dated. It's a nostalgia, and we don't want to take advantage of that nostalgia anymore, nor do we wanna take advantage of the fans. We've got three shows [in July 2011] and it's probably gonna be the last shows that we do for a very long time. In fact, we just may call it quits. Because we feel like we set out to do what we needed to collectively. We're very honest people, we love each other dearly, but we just can't get it on; we can't turn each other on in the studio. We hit a brick wall together, and it ain't cool. So there's probably not gonna be a new [LIFE OF AGONY] album, nor a new single… So people better start getting used to [the 2005 album] 'Broken Valley', because that's probably the last piece of music that they'll hear from the band."

In all fairness this announcement, whilst tinged with sadness, is the best thing that could happen, that once and for all LOA can be laid to rest.

I appreciate that it seems like I am eulogising a family member or a beloved pet, but personally I don't think you can underestimate the effect that music can have on you, particularly in your emotionally vulnerable formative years and those of you looking for the usual bile, I promise I'll post up something about Larz and Megadave very soon just to balance it out... but for now I am going to lament the passing of what to me, was a very important band.


I believe there are tiers of liking music - people ask you to do a top 5 or a top 10 and you can snap five automatic responses off in no time, but there are another tier of band that don't immediately crash into that list that can be held as special.
For example if you have never met me, read this blog before, then you might not be aware that Iron Maiden are my favourite band, however lyrically and on some level emotionally they are very hard to connect with - I have never been a British Solider, an Egyptian Mummy, An Ancient Mariner even, but there are bands like Nine Inch Nails (earlier works it should be pointed out) who I have felt so profoundly that at times I have had to put the album away because emotionally the weight is crushing.
For me, Life Of Agony was such a band.

LOA was formed back in 1989 in Brooklyn, New York by Keith Caputo, cousin Joey Z (guitars) and Alan Robert (guitars/vocals). Growing up in the tough neighbourhood they would all experience harsh childhoods including a back drop of abuse, absentee parents - through abandonment/suicide - and drug use to the point where Keith was sent to live with Joey.
All of which would provide the band with the ammunition to pen some of the most hard hitting lyrics committed to disc.
After playing with several drummers they enlisted the then Type O Negative (RIP Pete) drummer Abruscato and roped in his former band mate Josh Silver to produce their debut album which would become one of Roadrunner Records greatest releases, River Runs Red.


RRR was released in 1993. By and large it is considered a concept album it deals with the family struggle of a teenage boy whose life is falling apart, at home, at school, at work and in love.
The music is primarily metal, but tinged with the influence of the NY Hardcore scene that saw them drawing crowds at the legendary CGBGs night club.
This album contains some of their greatest songs - Underground, Method Of Groove, Through And Through, This Time and of course the epic title track all inter-cut with snippets of the boys week.
As great an album as it is, River Runs Red is an extremely dark journey and without trying to give too much as a spoiler to those interested, when they called themselves Life Of Agony they meant it and this is a concept album without a happy ending.
Although for the band (and principle song writer Robert) this remains the pinnacle of their work.


Two years later LOA returned to the studio to record their follow up album. Coming as a surprise to their hardcore fan base, Ugly, saw a softening of the bands style from the aggressive gang chorus to a heavy rock sound that was more in common with bands like Stone Temple Pilots than Sick Of It All.
No less emotionally weighty the album saw major contributions from Abruscato and Captuo, the latter particularly on the subject matter dealing with his parents drug abuse, his missing mother and from Roberts' part the death of his mother and the frustrations of growing into adulthood.
It is a beautiful, but downright depressing affair at times that not even the pointless throwaway cover of Simple Mind's 'Don't You Forget About Me' could lift.
Despite the radical departure and large disdain it was greeted with from the wider public LOA retained their fan base and successfully toured with Ozzy Osbourne, Korn, Anthrax and fellow Brooklynites Type O Negative.
However during one of the shows on this tour a fan fell from the stage trying to stagedive and died. As a result the band were implicated and cleared in a lawsuit but saw Captuo deeply effected to the point years later on the River Runs Again DVD he warns the crowd to watch out as they 'have already lost a life'.
Following and despite all the tours momentum Abruscato exited the band after the tour, and was replaced by ex-Pro Pain/Crumbsuckers drummer Dan Richardson.


In 1997 the band returned to the studio to record Sun Searching Sun, this record continued the bands evolution away from metal and was met with further confusion, this time from the bands fanbase as well.
Featuring some of the bands most upbeat songs the material often jars against themes of underlying depressing such as the lead single Desire - lyrical hook 'I'm comfortable feeling miserable and I never want to change'.

Despite having signed up for a world tour, waif like renaissance man Keith announced that he was no longer feeling the music and departed the band.
Undoubtedly crushed by their band mate/family members departure the band ploughed ahead, taking the bizarre step of recruiting former Ugly Kid Joe vocalist Whitfield Crane to man the mike in Caputo's departure.


Now taking a step back here I saw LOA on this tour with Crane, despite his involvement in the aural equivalent of Aids, he was actually a pretty fine vocalist (check out the under rated Medication album featuring whit, Logan Mader formerly of Machine Head and Roy from Soulfly) although trying to instil a bouncing, party crowd during heavy weight anthems like Other Side Of The River and the fact that LOA had a family orientated and loyal fanbase meant that he would never be accepted.


Couple this with the fact that the new material didn't endear itself to the hardcore following and Whit was on to a losing streak from the off. During this show I saw a tiny girl in New Roc boots axe kick a stereotypical looking hardcore dude (you know... wife beater, too many tattoos, bulging neck muscles) out cold. Her reason you ask?
She was pissed off cos they were playing SSS single 'Weeds' and it is (in her words) 'A fucking pop song'.
At this juncture I exited the pit...

Once home from the Soul Searching... tour the remaining band members decided they no longer wanted to continue as LOA without Caputo and Crane left as quickly as he came and eventually they crumbled and disbanded in 1999 with Caputo re-emerging on Roadrunner as a solo artist with the fantastic Died Laughing album.

In truth I mourned them back then and it was over until a family tragedy brought them back together. Keith's father passed away in late 2002 and the grief reunited all the band members to play two reunion shows which would be released as River Runs Again - reuniting the classic line up.


Following the success of the shows the band retuned to the studio in 2005 to record their first new material in eight years in the form of 2005's Broken Valley.
It's fair to say the album is their weakest and was not well received by their fanbase at large (although in my house I still spin it) as the music was closer to Velvet Revolver style stadium rock and the mellower moments of Ugly. After a short tour the band all but vanished again as Caputo once again reiterated that this was not the style of music he wanted to play.

And there they should have left it, but they have been playing festivals in Belgium and club shows in the states occasionally and in 2009 they performed all of River Runs Red which left me with a sour taste in my mouth. When I saw them in 2005, finally with Keith, it was clear that as much as Roberts, Joey and Sal were enjoying themselves Caputo was a man (yes he was still a man back then...) going through the motions and to see one of the most emotionally moving bands I knew almost faking it was a sad sight to see.
And so they limped on, almost reuniting every now and then for the cash top up, until 2010 when they released the 20 Years Strong: River Runs Red, Live in Brussels CD/DVD set which I have to say I couldn't bring myself to buy.

Now it seems like they have finally decided to call time on the whole affair - a prolonged and undignified death for a great band who profoundly effected my life growing up.

What happened next:

As detailed before Keith Caputo has forged a decent music career post LOA with his last full solo album A Fondness For Hometown Scars being released in 2007 and a side project called The Neptune Darlings was released last year. I have already mentioned in this blog about his transition from male to female and his annoying Facebook outpourings so I'll leave that one here.


Alan Robert has released music under the banner of Spoiler NYC which I must confess haven't heard and has more recently entered the comic book industry, writing and releasing horror/conspiracy tale The Wire Hangers in 2010 (which he has announced will be made into a live action movie) and his latest project Crawl To Me was released in 2011.


Sal Abruscato formed A Pale Horse Named Death which sees him move from the drum stool to the guitar and microphone. Their 'And Hell will Follow Me' album was released last year and is a great album that combines a hard grunge style of rock with the more gothic Type O and states "This is my pinnacle creation, the best album I have ever done, and after listening, most people are tending to agree."
Much as I love it, I'll be falling outside that category.


Joey Z formed Stereomud after the first LOA split and released two albums. I have the first one somewhere, didn't like it. Sorry Joey.
They broke up when LOA reformed and since the second split he has owned and run Method Of Groove studios in his home town of Brooklyn.

RIP Life Of Agony.

How Bleak Is Our Sabbath?

I haven't written for a while it seems due to having a 6 foot pain in the ass removed, which has mean life has been utterly mental. Trying to keep in the spirit of positivity for the New Year I have hesitated on pulling the trigger on several issues that may or may not be connected with certain Lou Reed collaborators, but that horse is well and truly flogged.

I had discovered that last year my favourite band to never really trouble the annals of fame, Earthtone9 had recorded a new EP on the back of touring and reforming. So I thought I would treat every to some metal history as occasionally happens in between fits of ranting about how truly fucked everything is.

However I haven't written that yet and I have been side tracked by a couple of things, one in particular should be considered important by all fans of Heavy Metal...

But firstly the good news that Jessie Leech is now back in Killswitch armed with a seriously heroic beard. Having gotten over the issues that lead to his departure back in the early naughties, the original (and best) voice of KsE has come home and hopefully will help them jettison the boring dross that has become their staple output in favour of, well something intense and interesting again.

But the reason for abusing a keyboard this time out has to undoubtedly be the Black Sabbath reunion...

Now I must confess to being slightly underwhelmed by their inclusion as headliner for Download having seen the original reunion back in 1998 at the NEC in Birmingham. Since then I have seen Ozzy and Sabbath in a few guises - Ozzy twice as his own solo show. The first time was excellent and the second time was fucking awful as he was clearly having one of his legendary 'off nights' and wailed like an ally cat having it's nuts removed without anaesthesia. By a blunt, rusty spoon.

Sabbath has been a mixed bag also; the Reunion shows were great - check out the CD released (imaginatively titled 'Reunion') and listen out for me. You can't actually hear my voice, but a 19 year old me was drunk as shit dressed up like Ozzy and and screaming myself hoarse...

Next time they didn't have Bill Ward, they were average, the time after that they still didn't have Bill Ward and were solid even if Mike Bordin didn't pull off the drumming with the same aplomb.

Now if I had my reservations about the live shows, the concept of the album was an even more frightening prospect thanks to the last time they got together to write and produced the execrable 'Psycho Man' or whatever the hell it was called. So having endured Rick Rubin phone in the last Slayer album and Death Cliptastic the only plus in the column is that at the end of the day the man barely inputs into the process and who in their right mind needs to tell Iommi how to make a Black Sabbath album anyway?

Then the wheels started to come off.

Iommi as I mentioned last time round was diagnosed with cancer.

However it seems that this is not going to derail their plans, so fingers crossed they got it early enough.

However on February 2nd Bill ward released a statement saying that he was going to be sitting out the reunion unless he was given a contract that wasn't 'unsignable'.

A contract that looked to give him the respect and the credit for being an original member of Black Sabbath.

This was a strange statement in itself really.

There is little secret that Ward's health has been questionable since the eighties and long ago sold his publishing rights to the early material, so is this a financially motivated holding the reunion to ransom?

It seems not and bang, almost straight out of the gates Black Sabbath released a statement expressing their regret that Bill had declined the reunions saying - "we have no choice but to continue recording without him although our door is always open."

Rumours that the vacant drum stool was to be filled by anonymous member of Osbourne's touring band Tommy Clufetos brought further outrage from the internet.

What Sabbath's statement failed to address was that in Ward's first salvo was that he clearly stated he had been given the cold shoulder and was sat with bags packed waiting for a contract that was fitting for his status.

When you peel back the layers a little bit you find that this disregard of Ward has happened for years from the Sabbath camp.


The man who fired Ozzy from the band back in 1979 left the second incarnation of Sabbath partly because of health and partly because he, as a childhood friend of Osbourne, never gelled with his replacement, the much missed Ronnie James Dio.

When they reconvened for the Dehumanizer album in the early nineties Ward was first choice name behind the stool and the same again on the fantastic Heaven & Hell project.

However the drum parts that appear on those albums were prewritten and the skin beater was expected to just play the rhythmically unadventurous lines that appear on those albums as opposed to spending time organically writing the songs with Bill's jazz/blues background, because if Chinese whispers are to be believed, Iommi is not a fan of the whole drumming set up and time it would consume working with a drummer with input. As such the songs are effectively written and the introduction of Ward as a creative writer would slow the process.

And then there is the thorny issue of those pesky publishing rights...

Back when everything was 25% it was fine for a band starting out. Now these days in the age of declining record sales publishing rights do make a phenomenal difference to how much you'll take home from album sales.

So this has all been quite factual and laying out of issues so far... I commend my measured self.

Well, Aron Ward came to his father's defense over the issue in a lengthy and passionate statement on Facebook in which he outlined that this was not greed, he was definitely committed and sat with his bags packed waiting for this contract that would give him the respect he deserves.

All of which comes down to the rub of the matter when fans started expressing anger towards Sharon 'Puppet Master' Osbourne who felt the need to respond on Facebook stating (somewhat out of the blue and irrelevantly) that she manages her husband and not Black Sabbath...


Now no disrespect Shauron, but when the original Sabbath reformed at the end of the 1992 Ozzy Osbourne retirement leg of the No More Tears tour Osbournes management (that's Shauron for those of you not paying attention) assumed mantle of 'brand control' which effectively meant that Osbourne had final say on the use of the name Black Sabbath. That's right Tony Iommi, the only consistent entity in Sabbath since it's inception effectively handed control of the name to the Osbournes - which is why The Devil You Know was released by Heaven & Hell and not the name the line up had first time round.

In 2008 Iommi sued Ozzy over this, in 2009 Ozzy sued Iommi for 50% of the Black Sabbath name and profits associated with it and the Manhatten judge sided with him citing his signature vocals as contributing to the trademark sound which is why sales declined after his departure.

Fucking shit.

Now I like the Ozzy era Sabbath above all, but without the ringing doom of the music - propelled by a drummer with a feel for groove as opposed to a fucking metronome - Ozzy could have catawalled the alphabet on Sesame Street for all I care. No doubt he contributed, as did they all, it could be argued as Butler wrote the majority of the lyrics Ozzy should have taken home less than his allotted 25% back in the day...

Just doing the maths here 50% for Ozzy, plus (I assume) 25% for Iommi and 25% for Geezer doesn't really leave a lot for a drummer and hey there are loads of people who can hit things right?

I joke, but the Osbournes have a history of this - Blizzard Of Oz and Diary Of A Madman had their drum parts re-recorded due to a contract dispute with original rhythm section Bob Daisley and Lee Kerkslade. The duo had to take Ozzy to court to gain their partial song writing credits and unpaid royalties from those albums which lead to Sharon having Rob Trujillo and Mike Bordin (both contracted under the Osbourne band pay role) to play the parts for a fixed fee on the 2002 reissues...


Ward sat out the last round of reunion gigs for very similar reasoning and Mike Bordin accepted a flat fee as did Vinnie Appice before him...

Despite lengthy periods of disharmony between Shauron and her late father Don Arden it seems the apple didn't fall far from the tree, what with them both being underhand ruthless cunts.

Now nothing surprises me with Shauron anymore; having ruined her husbands legacy on MTV with a reality show that portrayed him as a slow witted bumbling fool, incapable of doing anything for himself, it seems highly unlikely that Ozzy is the driving force behind this latest slap in the face for Ward, as despite Zakk Wylde's protestations that he is as sharp as he has ever been you need to consider the man once bit the head of a live dove in CBS Record's boardroom.

And Zakk Wylde is a moron.

So it is no wonder that the eyes of the metal world have turned to the egg throwing former wank karaoke competition judge and discoverer of fucking Chico Time for some answers.

Answers which she seems incapable of providing...

The now deafening silence coming from camp Sabbath speaks volumes.

With a tour and album deal projected to make roughly $100m over the next year we are talking big business here.

It seems the brand manager, Ozzy's manager, Iommi's manager and Geezer's manager can't quite agree on how to divide the pile equally (spot the deliberate ignoring of facts).

But frankly fuck the facts; I am sure that Ward would happily receive a large fee to be on stage with his former band mates again for the honour of actually giving the band they formed back in the late sixties the send off it deserves, but Christ on a bike the guy wants to be in Black Sabbath, like he was when they wrote Paranoid, NIB, Snowblind, War Pigs, Paranoid... the list goes on - back when he was a quarter member that had an equal say in the way the songs were written. You know, to actually decide whether to hit the Ride, Crash or High Hat symbol for himself like a grown man who has written some of the most defining metal songs of all time.

This is more than likely (or maybe even hopefully) their swan song and this is a chance to leave all the drama of the past behind and get the original and best heavy metal band of all time back together, to have come full circle and leave a resounding triumph as their legacy for future generations.

But no, the fucking business side of everything has gotten so distorted and so poisonous that four guys who clawed there way out of the slums in Birmingham to conqueror the world and pretty much invent this form of music cannot get in a room together and write a bunch of songs.

At their age.

After all the money they have made.

After everything they have been through.

I can't even begin to imagine how fucked up a situation like this must be.

I am begging you Tony, Ozzy, Geezer and especially YOU Shauron as 'brand protector' or chief gold digger, whatever the fuck you are to pull your heads out of your ass and figure out a way to get these guys back in a room and this whole thing back on track with some dignity.

I'm sure there is a way you can give Ward what he wants and still cream a great big fat packet off the top.

For fucks sake, Iommi has CANCER, Ward and Butler aren't getting any younger, Ozzy shouldn't even be alive right now. We have already lost Ronnie - was that not a wake up call to you all that time is ticking?

If Ward isn't in Sabbath in June I'm going to watch spangly yank punk poppers Rise Against instead, out of disgust for the fact that the remaining members of Black Sabbath aren't reminding their managers, wives, business representatives, whoever cannot say, for the sake of the millions of fans out there who want this, that this was about the music and the legacy of this great band.

The answer is not Tony fucking Clufetos... he might be the greatest drummer ever for all I care, but he has no right to sit there under the banner of a Black Sabbath reunion whilst Bill Ward sits at home because you can't give him the respect he deserves.


I'm not a big fan of Facebook campaigns, but seek out 1000000 Black Sabbath Fans Say Yes To Bill Ward and sign up to make it abundantly clear to whoever has the ear of the remaining members:

Just pay the fucking Bill.

Or words to that effect.

New Years Resolutions

Regular sufferers of this blog will have probably noticed that a few things started to get on top of me towards the end of last year and having had a couple of weeks off over the festive season to recoup I have made a promise to myself that for my own sanity's sake and that of others I would not let the little things bother me.
As such I haven't even bothered to download the 'Beyond Magnetic' Ep.

That's right folks, it may be a new year, but I will be fucked if I will give Metallica one quarter until they do something that earns my respect again.
Undertsandably I'm sure Messer Hetfield, Ulrich, Hammett and hired gun Trujillo couldn't give a toss what I think of them, but it does seem that I am a member of a growing number of fans who are frankly sick of their shit. Still it seems this attitude is getting to them as this week motormouth Danish biscuit tin beater Lars was quoted as saying the new album will be shorter and more to the point when they head back into the studio with the man who Corey Taylor branded 'a fat lazy piece of shit' last year, Rick Rubin, for the next instalment of brand Metallica.
Let's just hope he doesn't spend all his energy on cashing the cheque this time round.

Anyway, I will not be draw into this again... until the next time...

Moving on the New Year heralded news that The Howard Jones aka HoJo had stepped down from wearing the least insipring stage gear ever (blue work shirt - check, blue trousers - check) and given back the mic for once good, now Emo behemoth's Killswitch Engage.

Now I haven't called myself a KsE fan for years, but I have to say this is fantastic news... don't get me wrong I have met HoJo and he was a genuinely nice guy - I gave him a pen when they played Exeter before the release of the mainstream smash 'The End Of Heartache' and chatted to him about his former band Blood Has Been Shed - but it seems that after a decade of singing over the same three drop chords in a repetitive growl/emo cycle he was no longer feeling it.

I know what he means and I don't blame Jones, I blame guitar playing buffoon Adam D. Now when I met him shortly after the release of 'End Of Heartache' he was a nice humble guy - in fact he blushed and said 'Don't say that...' when I told him it would be the album of the year (note I'd be richer if you had taken that bet Adam!), but since then has evolved into a cape wearing jackass who seemed hellbent on writing increasingly tedious music.

In a candid statement Howard cites a lack of interest (yeah Howard, I got that too and had to remove 'As daylight Dies' from the car lest I fall asleep at the wheel and plough into oncoming traffic) and an onset of Type II Diabetes (no doubt from all the saccharine sweet emo bollocks he's been warbling for his duration with the band) as the main reasons for leaving - proving to the metal world that you can leave a band in a dignified manner - or doing a reverse Portnoy as it is now known.

The unspoken personal reasons are the subject of some scurrilous internet rumours emanating from metalsucks.net and given KsE have made no where near as much bank as say Ryan Giggs a super injunction is not in place. But far be it from me to snipe at rock stars from the anonymity of the internet I shall just say that apparently Mr Jones ****** a **** star and got her ********* and tried forcing her to ***** the **** because he is allegedly happily *******.
So it would appear that he isn't quite the nice guy after all.

Still it has opening the door for a new man behind the mic.
Close friend of the band current All That Remains singer Phil LaBonte who filled in for the absent HoJo last year immediately came out and stated that he wouldn't ever consider leaving his band and was going back into the studio to record the follow up to For We Are many - their most successful album to date - which is a relief to me as it leaves the door open for original frontman Jesse Leach to return and keeps alive a band I love. Leach in turn having reminded members of KsE that they were once good with the Times Of Grace project.
Either that or they should shut up shop and fuck off all together.
Edit: I have just read they are accepting submissions for the vacant singer role... I expect Dan Nelson, Ripper Owens, Blaze Bayley and Corey Taylor to all be linked in the next few days.

Still such joyous news must be tempered with the solemn and far be it for me to be serious but this month has seen the sad announcement that Godfather of the evil riff Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with the early stages of lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphocytes, a type of cell that forms part of the immune system.

Iommi, 63, is currently working with his doctors to establish the best treatment plan and remains upbeat and determined to make a full and successful recovery.
To which I will say without his work this blog would not exit, even it's it's spiteful little form. The music that the man has created over the years with Sabbath has changed my life and influenced me far beyond the telling. I wish him all the luck in the world and hope to see the man standing still on the Hallowed stage of Download churning out those slabs of greatness whilst the clapping, jumping clown next to him attempts to hit the notes he did 40 years ago.

Right back on track.
As this title of this one alludes to this month sees the new anvil heavy Lamb of God release 'Resolution' hit the racks at the end of the month.

The Virginia heavy hitters new release see frontman Randy Blythe now sober and clean and voicing his not restrained opinion on Twitter. Now not dribbling and being punched out by his own band members I would actually consider joining the social network to read his rants as these days he's coming across more like a thinking man's Phil Anselmo as opposed to a drinking man's Jello Biafra, but I fear it would be a short walk from here to calling Scott Ian a massive douchebag.
Still having heard the album in it's entirety (sorry Randy... but rest assured you will get my money on payday) I can safely say that it is the best thing the band have release since their seminal Ashes Of The Wake album and rivals the latest Machine Head opus for a regular spot on my Ipod, which given how much I gushed like a school girl over it for the latter part of the year is no feint praise.

Elsewhere Down aim to release the first of four EPs this year in an attempt to challenge the way the music industry works. The subsequent parts are slated for release over the following three years, but given that continental drifts move faster than the New Orleans sluggers I'll be surprised if they make that ambitious schedule.

Sllllllaaaaayyyyyyyyyyeeeeeerrrrrr are also rumoured to be rebuilding Jeff Hanneman in order to head back into the studio to record the next album to be slated 'not as good as Reign In Blood, South Of Heaven or Seasons In The Abyss' since 2009's 'World Painted Blood'. Hopefully they will end up tacked onto a festival bill this summer so I can have the perfect excuse to be (even more of) an obnoxious cunt for a day and sing along to some of, if not the finest thrash songs ever recorded.

What else?
Ahhh, you're probably bored now, but there is a host of interesting metal stuff set to happen this year including the return of Vision Of Disorder, a new Therapy? album, Orange Goblin on record and on tour (supported by History favs Grifter) and a whole lot more.

Still I'm going to get out whilst my positive mood remains, fingers crossed for Machine Head to special guest at Download... right I hear Chris Moyles is in Plymouth this Friday so I'm off to buy a sniper rifle.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly 2011

When all is said and done this is a time of year when people get demotivated.

You have a million and one things to do, apparently a need to catch up with a million and one people for no other reason than Coke-a-Cola adverts on TV, the need to boost the economy by spending all your money on other people and gorge yourself on fattening foods and liver threatening beverages and all of these in turn for the sake of the mythical birthday of a guy who would be nailed to a tree at 33 years old for saying what a good idea it would be to be nice to everyone (thank you Douglas Adams - gone but not forgotten).

That's right Christmas is upon us, the house is full of tinfoil, fake German trees, the little lady is telling me to stop being a grumpy cunt (well that's just normal to be fair) and across the land magazine staff do that thing where they fill their product with lists to distract from the fact they can't be arsed to do any work.

Here at History Towers we are no different really... I look back on the year and think 'Man, only one thing pissed me off in November?' well of course it didn't, loads did, but that's another story... anyway, back to the plot. Now that the door has slammed shut on metal releases worth talking about I'm going to tell you about the albums that have made an impact here this year. I have tried to narrow my list down to the top, er under ten, best, worst and not necessarily either of 2011.

Anyway before we get down to final lists there are a few worth mentioning that edge outside of the final er, inconsistent number.

British Metal had a reasonable year, Architects disappeared off to America and continued adding melodies to their Baby Johnny Truant sound with January's The Here & Now. Son of The Air Raid Siren, baby Dickinson's band Rise To Remain released the metalcore City Of Vultures which won them fans aplenty (although in my house he is not a patch on his father); Technical Djent merchants Tesseract released the dizzying One and ragga-metal favourites Skindred released the entertaining but not ground breaking Union Black... still it is a lot of fun.

Elsewhere Morbid Angel alienated their fan base with a bizarrely industrial flavoured effort, Chimaira returned with Age Of Hell - their best effort in years, Opeth released Heritage but the thought of listening to it bores me, Alice Cooper got round to releasing Welcome 2 My Nightmare which is actually a great classic rock album and nowhere near as bad as it sounds. Former Skid Row squealer Seb Bach released Kicking & Screaming which serves as a reminder that, before he was using his mouth as Axl Rose's bidet, the guy could, on his day, kick the fat Ginger fuck up and down the stage vocally, Jane's Addiction returned with the above average 'Great Escape Artist', Al Jourgensen decided he couldn't live without Ministry and started to record 'Relapse' whilst finally releasing the crazy Buck Satan project (which has arrived after the cut off date) and lastly my chance to rip into MegaDave some more was denied when the 'Deth boys turned in Th1rt3en and it was actually alright...

So to the nitty gritty of my year.

The Ugly

6. In at six is the mighty Mastodon. A confusing band who one moment have this brutal punk vibe going for them, the next they are all clever and prog with too many notes and time signatures going on.


Having released the challenging and in part incredible Crack The Skye album in 2009 they stripped their sound back down and went balls out for The Hunter. Somewhat of an enigma that to me their more accessible release was harder to listen to. Less refined and a return to the uncompromising sounds of their earlier releases this is an album I will file under 'needs more time'.

5. As I have previously indicated I placed a great deal of expectation on the shoulders of Unearth this time out as I felt that since the Oncoming Storm they have been dependable, but not kicked on. III: In The Eyes Of Fire and The March were good, but more of the same, perhaps not as good.


Armed with Killswitch jackass Adam D behind the studio desk once more and Killswitch drummer Foley I felt this time could be something special for the Massachusetts metalcore crew. Sadly I am left feeling a little short changed and this is in part due to the introduction of clean vocals which smacks of an attempt to widen their audience. There is no shame in this, and it's not bad, just not the world beater I hoped for.

4. Another metalcore forerunner As I Lay Dying followed up their acclaimed 2009 album The Powerless Rise with a 'ten year celebratory special EP' Decas, which smacked of fulfilling contractual obligations.


Consisting of 3 new songs, a handful of covers - including heavy weights Judas Priest and Slayer as well as several remixes of their own earlier material, it is as hit and miss as it sounds. The new songs are strong and follow on where they previously left off, the covers are entertaining if not fairly pointless and redundant and the dance remixes are well, just fairly pointless and redundant.

Don't get me wrong I love AILD, I have listened to this a fair bit considering the sum of it's parts... But I just can't see the point in it.

3. I wrote about Emmure's Speaker Of The Dead earlier this year so I won't labour the point... it is lumpen and as musically dumb as the proverbial bag of hammers.


And hammers are a good analogy really; harking back to Douglas Adams - he described the drink The Pangalatic Gargle Blaster as being hit in the head by a gold brick wrapped in a slice of lemon... Well, substitute the lemon for a blunt paper, exchange the gold brick for a sack of Go-Bots, broken Transformers, Brass knuckles, a couple of Nintendo cartridge games and some bling and you'll probably still be nowhere near the effect.

The very essence of ugly, yet I have found myself compelled to listen to it.

2. This year also saw the return of Five Finger Death Punch. Promising harder, heavier, more melodic, more cowbell and more kitchen sink than ever before, the 'Death Punk' crew rolled over the airwaves with American Capitalist and you know what? They were right. Like a huge big, dumb, awful, brain melting cartoon with a massive side helping of cheese, they are fast food, low brow, quick fix and most of all fun.


I fucking love them, yes they are AWFUL, seriously bad at times but Evan Moody has a great voice and Zoltan Bathory is a great guitar player - they are the perfect 3.30pm festival band and this is their latest instalment, it's probably the weakest of the three so far, but it's not not even important at this point.

1. What is the ugliest record I heard all year?

Actually to phrase that better what is the ugliest record I have heard this year that doesn't fall into the worst album category?


Earlier in the year I wrote a lengthy rant about the ridiculousness of Limp Bizkit's 'Golden Cobra' even going as far as to dub it 'Golden Shower' but on reflection as the year draws to a close there are a couple of reasons I can't place it in the 'worst album' category.

i) As retarded as they are, they are great live entertainment. Durst is a shit lyricist, but a great frontman.

ii) They are self aware - they know how shit they are, but every now and then Borland and Otto let rip with these musical interludes that say, we only write this cos you people buy it.

iii) They are crap, they always have been crap. If you listen to it expecting genius, then you are a bigger idiot than Bizkit's frontman.

I hate them, yet I can't honestly sit here and tell you it deserves to be in the worst album category, because it never stood a chance of being in the best one.

Make of this what you want, but Golden Cobra is definitely the ugliest thing I have heard all year...

The Bad

5. I'll put my hands up on this one. It's a 2010 release, not 2011.

Sure there are some awful records that have assaulted my ears this year, but I thought it was incredibly mean spirited to sling Golden Cobra into the top 5 worst albums I have heard this year as in truth it would be like pointing out the defects in Li-Lo's Photoshopped Playboy shoot.


However I heard earlier this year Bring Me The Horizon's 2010 'There Is A Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It, If There Is A Heaven, Let's Keep It A Secret'. Not only does this win the most retarded title award, but is in actual fact, 100% ear cancer. Devoid of anything remotely endearing the band, who also are strong candidates for shittest name to come out of the Random Emo Name Generator, have had a busy year fighting with their own audiences and being universally booed across Europe supporting Machine Head.

The worst thing was I only found out they were British the other week. They achieve the less than glowing compliment of making Parkway fucking Drive sound good.

Fuck this band and their douchebag front man, I boycotted Machine Head thanks to you and fucking Devildriver; if your music was a living entity I would shoot it in the genitals to stop it spreading. Just about the worst thing I have heard this year.

4. Annnnnd back to to the present....

It is sad to say that I have to finally give in and admit defeat with In Flames. Once proud pioneers of The Gothenburg Sound (Melodic Death Metal to you and I) who seemed to be clawing back a little bit of credibility, this years awfully titled 'Sounds Of A Playground Fading' managed the dubious achievement of making everything they have released since 2000's fan dividing 'Re-route To Remain' sound interesting and cutting edge.


Essentially there is little wrong with what is on the disc - trademark In Flames riffs, moany lyrics, fast solos... all check but the fact is it is so incredibly stock and fucking boring that I would rather they just hadn't bothered.

Honestly no matter how many spins I have given it I don't think I could pick a song out if it set itself on fire and ran around my living room.

No one expects this band to rewrite Jester Race, but when this isn't even as good as Come Clarity you have to wonder if this once great band have over stayed their welcome.

3. Once upon a time there was a band called Anthrax... stop me if you've heard this one before... oh you have? 3 Singers and the fact they settled on the one most likely to earn them the quick cash on the back of The Big Four tours rather than the one that would have them make the best music?

That's right.


In essence a lot of people are/will be very happy with Worship Music, that's the truth of the matter. It sounds like a very eighties 'Thrax album, albeit in an extremely contrived way. Skeletor sounds the same as ever (by which I mean he sounds like he did on Among The Living, but I would rather he sounded like John Bush), the music is, well it's like a nostalgia trip back to the golden age of youth... although imagine when you got up close to the Delorian you lovingly remembered without the rose tinted specs on you saw it was a bit plasticy, a bit naff looking and cheap... and it handles like a cow.

That is the Anthrax album I heard.

Horrendous lyrics like Judas Priest (not about the band), Fight Em Til You Die etc, music that sounds overdone and a bit forced, but the worst thing for me is that Anthrax progressed during the Bush era, pushed themselves - like they did back in the real eighties probably to their career detriment - and here they sound like they have gone backwards and produced someones idea of a classic era Anthrax album...

Of course they have, they made my mate The Boy Tuesday's idea of a classic Anthrax album - he loves it, but then he thinks music died with The Black album.

Mind you this is the same guy who is now excited by Metallica playing Download... and he hates that album, go figure.

However if I wanted to listen to yesteryear Anthrax I'd have gotten in my time machine and revved it up to 88mph.

2. From the dated to the contemporary there is one thing consistent, some people make dreadful music in the name of progress. Now I am probably going to be labelled small minded or a hater for this but crashing into the top five for the second year running is the latest Korn coaster, this time entitled 'The Path Of Totality'.


Here the Bakersfield crew have updated their dated nineties sound to a more modern Dubstep influenced sound. Yes that's right folks, coming straight outta South London in 1998 the latest dance trend has taken until recently to break through into the mainstream. Despite a favourable reception to III: Remember Who You Are apparently Fat Mexican Pimp-a-like Jon Davies has been DJing a lot recently and has gotten into Dubstep and so off they go again in another attempt to stay relevant, collaborating with all manner of bad dance music producing nerks to make this shambles of an album.

Now I know I should in reality commend them for actually taking a risk and trying to evolve, but fuck me, Dubstep is bad enough on it's own and Korn are bad enough on their own, together it's like a bunch of children let lose on Garage Band or something... I like dance, I like industrial, Prodigy's cover of L7's Fuel My Fire s awesome, this sounds like an annoying console game soundtrack with a millionaire still bleating and whinging over the top.

Call me close minded, but I tell you I still listen to Fear Factory's Remanufacture and even now it's great, this however is just bollocks.

1. So have you guessed it yet?

Honestly if you have needed a hand guessing what has to be the most execrable thing heard all year you must have being living in the same universe where they convinced Korn to write Dubstep. Without a shadow of a doubt by far the biggest piece of shit to be released this year under the banner of music is Lou & Metallica's dismal, dismal collaboration Lulu.


Sure someone is going to tell me it's art, someone is going to tell me it's brave, someone is going to tell me they have always gone against the grain, it's not a proper Metallica album, I don't get it... well you know what?

They can fuck off off as well.

It's rubbish, it's just utter garbage in fact and I fear it is the straw that broke the camel's back for me. When The Boy moans about Metallica selling out with the Black album and he can't listen to them, it makes me laugh - St fucking Anger, Death fucking Cliptastic and now this!

Fuck you Metallica - 20,000 copies sold in a month tells you how bad it is!

I notice now in an attempt to divert attention from this monstrous suckfest you have release the Beyond Magnetic Ep this week - four tracks from the Death Cliptastic sessions, OOOOO thanks guys, four songs you and Rick decided weren't good enough to go on the album, four songs you deemed worse than Redemption & Suicide? My Apocalypse? End Of The Line? The Judas Kiss?

Well fuckin' cheers guys, not only is it bad enough you couldn't be bothered to record and master the last two albums properly, this time it seems you couldn't be bother to write it either, or sing in tune, or play music properly on this one.

And as for Lou Reed... oh fuck it, even Lou Reed fans seem to hate him these days so let's leave him out of it as he clear doesn't know any better, the money making machine that is Metallica's management should have shot everyone involved with this project the moment the demos came in.

Aaaannnnnnyyyyywwwwaaaaayyy!

There has been some good to come out of the year apart from being pushed over the edge by one of my favourite bands and the fact that the longest list on this article is good means that the disappointment has been outweighed by the good (get me all positive!). So without further ado...

The Good

7. In at seven is Jamie Jasta's solo album, the imaginatively titled 'Jasta'.

Again I loved this album so much I was moved to write about it earlier this year, rather than labour the point here in I'll skim briefly so if you want a lengthier dissection have shufty at the article 'Caught Jasta'.


In short this album offered far more depth, melody and song writing nouse than I expected. Sure I was confident it could do aggressive yet uplifting songs and at no point does it disappoint, but the sheer scope of the album was far beyond Hatebreed and had more in common with Kingdom Of Sorrow. The guest slots from Phil Labonte, Randy Blythe, Mark Morton, Tim whatisface from As I Lay Dying, Zakk Myilde may be to boost confidence, and are great but in truth they are not needed as tracks like Set You Adrift and Anthems Of A Freedom Fighter prove. This is an extremely listenable and accomplished album.

6. Named after an Latin oath to tell the truth Sacramento screamers Will Haven dragged themselves Lazarus like back from the brink of whatever happens to cult bands when they falter and fade with this years Voir Dire. Having endured the last, disappointing album with new vocalist/long time friend Jeff Jaworski 'The Heirophant' and it's subsequent tour where frankly I out sung him on classic 'I've Seen My Fate' and no one knew any of the band members they seemingly sunk without a trace.


Following a One Love For Chi benefit gig (being long standing mates of the deftones) it was announced that original vocalist and maths teacher look-a-like Grady Avenell had returned.

In a triumphant celebration of everything great about Will Haven 'Voir Dire' positively smashes it's way out of the speakers, grinding and clawing with revived fury. Not only are the original band members mostly back (although Slipknot's Chris Fehn handles bass duties) but they have rediscovered their fire and drive with Avenell sounding like a bug eyed madman on tracks like 'When The Walls Close In' whilst Jeff Irwin's guitar pummels the senses.

Sonically this sounds like a follow up to their classic 'El Diablo' album but they have enhanced it with a depth and a light and shade that makes it almost melancholy at times, but with Avenell back there is something special about it.

I love this band, and it's great to have them back.

5. Wine making, enigmatic baldy Maynard James Keenan wondered into view, blew effortlessly on his finger nails, look up and said 'What?' as Tool fans everywhere cried out for a new album, but found themselves curious about 'Conditions Of My Parole' the sophomore album from dark, ambient, electro-pop, as easy to describe as it to nail jelly to the wall, bit on the side Puscifer.


Picking up where the previous EPs and album left off this is an exercise in effortless cool from start to finish.

I mean who the hell else can get pouty, rake thin, Resident Evil star Milla Jovovich to sing backing vocals and look at him all googly eyed, professing to be a huge fan whilst he stands there and blows it off like it's nothing? Honestly if the man wasn't a living stone cold genius you'd punch him in the dick for being such a wanker.

Fortunately 'Conditions...' is another hedonistic blend of dark, throbbing sexual undertones, subtle guitars, tripped out electronica and clever lyrical turns; less direct and and amped as the first album, this feels more like the work of a band than a one off side project.

Relaxing and unsettling at the same time, but only criticism here Mr Keenan is that Tool's '10,000 Days' was released in May 2006 which means it will now be at least six years between that and any new releases. This year has seen Justin Chandler playing the National Anthem at a WWE Pay Per View Event, Daney Carey appearing in music magazines hawking his own line of drums, a failed A Perfect Circle reunion, Puscifer live dates and now this. In short thank you for an extremely enjoyable album, but get your fucking ass back where you belong please.

4. Nepotism rules, ask the Redknapps and the Lampards.

As such, here is my full review of the eponymous Grifter album for The Sleeping Shaman.

Grifter

Let me be clear, they aren't here because they are my mates, this isn't to boost their egos because gawd knows they are bad enough already (sorry Ollie couldn't resist), they are here because genuinely I feel they have released one of the best albums I have heard all year and the plethora of great reviews (including 8/10 in Metal Hammer UK) echoes this.


I am so proud knowing how hard the guys work at something they absolutely love that they are finally getting the exposure and credit they deserve.

Catch em on tour with the mighty Orange Goblin next year.

3. Again I seem to be repeating myself a lot this time out, but despite the fact that (as great as they are) Down seem to inhibit great music as much as they make it. By this I mean that Corrosion of Conformity, Crowbar and Eyehategod all suffer from stuttering output due to the demands of the NOLA supergroup, but finally this year Kirk Windstein came home to Crowbar, got off the drugs and cut waaaaaayyyyy back on the booze and made one of his best albums in years in 'Sever The Wicked Hand'.


But as I kicked the ass out of that back in February I invite you to refresh your memory on that entry.

And cos I'm lazy.

2. Getting to the business end now and one of the most welcome and surprsing records of the year has to be The Hymn Of A Broken Man by Times Of Grace.

Yes, who? Quite.


Times Of Grace was the first collaboration between Killswitch Engage's Adam D and former Killswitch singer Jessie Leech since 'Alive Or Just Breathing' - the last time Killswitch were a great band.

The whole album, whether full on raging Metalcore or tender acoustic numbers shows the fantastic chemistry and interplay between the two that is so missed in the sleepwalking by numbers emo dross churned out by Killswitch these days. Written when Adam was laid up in agony awaiting back surgery these tunes plumb dark depths of the human psyche in an elegant and article way that I thought Dutkiewicz had long since forgotten. The emotion weight of this darkness and uplifting parts of The Hymn Of A Broken Man make this a breathless journey from the title track, through Strength In Numbers and The Forgotten One.

This rejuvenation is thanks in large part to Leech, a far superior vocalist compared to his replacement he quite simply shines on this record, clearly relishing the reunion with his old sparring partner. Lavishly accompanied by a DVD of arty videos that compliment the music this is as much a work of art as it is a side project.

Bottom line is that this was released at the start of the year and it has never been far from my ears all year, my biggest regret being that I could not make it to Download to see the band make their UK debut as, unless I am extremely lucky, it is highly unlikely we'll see an album this good from the Killswitch axeman for some time, if ever.

1. So when it comes down to it, what was the best thing I heard all year?

Simply put and without any fucking around, it was Unto The Locust.

I started with doubt and I was blown away.

I didn't think they could innovate, I was wrong.

I have to say I can't stop listening to it, it's fantastic.

I've reviewed it already in October (as I seem to have done with anything worth waxing on about this year) but I stand as much by that opinion now as I did then.

Machine Head are home, go buy this album, make them headliners, give them the chance to continue metal's legacy, a band who are proud to be what they are, who care about their fans, who can make an album sound awesome and above all who want to push the genre to dizzying heights.

In short this album made me excited by music this year and it is a joyous celebration from start to finish.


So barring Buck Satan, that's it for this year unless something happens between now and New Year so I will bid you a Happy New Year and hope 2012 is kinder on all.

Peace and Goodwill to most men....

End Of Days

Well the heating is on, the street looks like an epileptic's nightmare and the neighbour has been singing Christmas Carols since October so it can only mean one thing really, it's the end of the fucking year already.
So I invite you to pull up a glass of mulled wine, help yourself to a mince pie and shout 'Bah fucking Humbug' to all as we look back on a year that can only be described as a mixed bag of nuts here at History Towers.

Before I get into what I thought was hot or not, I'd give an overview of the year from my perspective.
I began the year looking at the New Year news and Metallica had topped the Neilsen Soundscan charts with The Black album 20 years after it's release.
Well we end the year with news that 21 years after it's release they are going to play all of that album at festivals around Europe. At the behest of Download festivals organisers. Yes folks, that desperate attempt to win back fans and credibility was actually not even their own idea and now seem to be pimping themselves out to whoever feels they can pay 'Tallica enough to dictate their setlist.
Given that the only song I want to hear by them is 'Dyers Eve' these days I might find myself down the front at Donington on June 9th next year waving a stack of cash around like a pervert trying to stuff dollars in the waistband of a poledancer.
Let's face it, it's pretty much the same thing now and with only 20,000 units of Lulu sold to date they could probably do with the cash. Honest.

I also briefly appeared to have mislaid my copy of Monster Magnet's Mastermind that was so cherished last Xmas for a week and found it in the place I was looking proving that age is doing me no favours... Alter Bridge released Alter Bridge 3.5, although God knows what that is as 3 was boring enough.

I  talked about Killswitch drummer Justin Foley standing/sitting in the vacant Unearth drumstool before opining that they need to really deliver this time out...
Well they did okay; 'Darkness In The Light' is a solid album that is not good enough to grace my top of anything, but neither is it bad. If I extended the category to a top fifteen it would probably be in there, but for a year to produce over a good album a month (or slightly above on average) is highly unlikely these days and this year was no exception.

 Elsewhere in the year the following also happened:

Original Iron Maiden singer and gun toting, wife beating, drug addled nutjob Paul Dianno  has been charged with 8 counts of benefits fraud of £45,000. He claimed to have nerve damage in his back and the Department for Work and Pensions got a tip from an anonymous tipper who said he was jumping around on stage. The Department for Work and Pensions gave him four and a half months in jail and took his property. He was released in March.

British metal legends and aging fossils Judas Priest embarked on their final world tour this summer, entitled Epitaph World Tour. Despite this, the band insist that they are not going to break up.However, founding member K. K. Downing later retires from the band allegedly to concentrate on running his 18 hole Golf club. Judas Priest also stated "Having thought long and hard about how to proceed, Rob, Glenn, Ian and Scott unanimously agreed that they should go ahead with the tour and not let the fans down around the world". 31 year old British guitar player Richie Faulkner was announced as the replacement, but the press release did not state if it is on a permanent basis and by all accounts it now seems likely they will record again.
Having seen Halford on the tour before last I would say he should have been retired as well...

The Voice Of Doom endorsed and not at all homoerotic Manowar caused a blackout in Cleveland, Ohio while performing a sound-check on March 11. A whole city block lost electricity and was not back in service for another 24 hours. Manowar had backup generators so the show was able to continue which was lucky for any fans of oiled men in loin cloths playing chest beating macho shit.


Lead vocalist Keith Caputo of alternative metal band Life of Agony changed his name to Keith Mina Caputo, and his gender from male to female. Seriously...
Now I am not ragging on transvestites, transgender people, but the fact is that Keith was one of my childhood heroes and I am actually friends with him on Facebook.
If you ever get the chance to do this for one of your heroes, don't.
Fragile flower and renaissance (wo)man Keith is an eye opener on the net... frankly I couldn't care less that he looks like an ugly Ozzy Osbourne in drag I struggle daily with the fact that when I cull my virtual friends the man whose moving words helped get me through my late teens/early twenties is second on my list.


Been a shit year for rockers shuffling lose the mortal coil as well:

• January 7 – Phil Kennemore, 57, bassist of hard rock outfit Y&T died of lung cancer.
• February 6 – Gary Moore, 58, guitarist died of heart attack while on holiday in Spain.
• February 23 – Phil Vane, 46, former vocalist for the crust punk/grindcore band Extreme Noise Terror, was found dead in his home.
• March 8 – Mike Starr, 44, original Alice in Chains bassist was found dead in his home.
• March 22 – Frankie Sparcello, bassist of Exhorder.
• April 4 – Scott Columbus, 54, former Manowar drummer died due to unknown causes.
• June 11 – Seth Putnam, 43, vocalist for Anal Cunt died from a heart attack.
• July 9 – Michael "Würzel" Burston, 61, former Motörhead guitarist.
• August 3 - Andrew McDermott, 45, former vocalist of Threshold died from kidney failure after being in a four day coma. 
• August 11 – Jani Lane, 47, former lead vocalist of Warrant.
• September 9 – Jonas Bergqvist, also known as "B", guitarist and vocalist of the Swedish band Lifelover died of unknown causes.
• November 2nd – Cory Smoot, also known as "Flattus Maximus", guitarist of the American band Gwar died of unknown causes.
Obviously some hold more gravitas than others in terms of musical influences but never-the-less a loss is a loss and no less tragic so RIP to all.


Elsewhere Rex 'Rocker' Brown got kicked out of Down for his extra-curricular activities; foot in mouth merchant Anselmo made up with Dimebag Darrell's girlfriend Rita Haney who in turn fell out with Vinnie Paul as the two of them bicker as to who loved him more.

Bored of waiting for Pepper Keenan to stop having a more successful career in Down, disgruntled Corrosion Of Conformity members reunited the Animosity line up and toured with promise of an album.

Bruce Dickinson's day job as Astreus airline pilot was axed as the company went into administration. Not exactly leading the queue in rushing down the job centre, the Air Raid Siren was last quoted as going to resurrect the airline amongst other plans for aviation, world domination and maybe even going back in the studio with bit on the side, Iron Maiden.



Finally this month we said a fond good bye to British Doom stalwarts Cathedral who played their last live show on the 3rd December. I must confess to never having listened to as much of their music as I should have and it was an excellent night curtsey of my darling girlfriend and my companions, even if it has left me with a tinge of sadness that Cathedral will release just one more album and then shuffle off into the annals of history.
Lee Dorrian's contribution to music both with Napalm Death, Cathedral and Rise Above Records is undisputed.

As for the rest of the year it can fuck off with it's riots, recession, tsunamis, tornados, Lulus, relegation, broken houses and general bullshit. There has been some great music released this year amongst a lot of shite, but I'll get to that next time, because let's face it, it's more fun.