When all is said and done this is a time of year when people get demotivated.
You have a million and one things to do, apparently a need to catch up with a million and one people for no other reason than Coke-a-Cola adverts on TV, the need to boost the economy by spending all your money on other people and gorge yourself on fattening foods and liver threatening beverages and all of these in turn for the sake of the mythical birthday of a guy who would be nailed to a tree at 33 years old for saying what a good idea it would be to be nice to everyone (thank you Douglas Adams - gone but not forgotten).
That's right Christmas is upon us, the house is full of tinfoil, fake German trees, the little lady is telling me to stop being a grumpy cunt (well that's just normal to be fair) and across the land magazine staff do that thing where they fill their product with lists to distract from the fact they can't be arsed to do any work.
Here at History Towers we are no different really... I look back on the year and think 'Man, only one thing pissed me off in November?' well of course it didn't, loads did, but that's another story... anyway, back to the plot. Now that the door has slammed shut on metal releases worth talking about I'm going to tell you about the albums that have made an impact here this year. I have tried to narrow my list down to the top, er under ten, best, worst and not necessarily either of 2011.
Anyway before we get down to final lists there are a few worth mentioning that edge outside of the final er, inconsistent number.
British Metal had a reasonable year, Architects disappeared off to America and continued adding melodies to their Baby Johnny Truant sound with January's The Here & Now. Son of The Air Raid Siren, baby Dickinson's band Rise To Remain released the metalcore City Of Vultures which won them fans aplenty (although in my house he is not a patch on his father); Technical Djent merchants Tesseract released the dizzying One and ragga-metal favourites Skindred released the entertaining but not ground breaking Union Black... still it is a lot of fun.
Elsewhere Morbid Angel alienated their fan base with a bizarrely industrial flavoured effort, Chimaira returned with Age Of Hell - their best effort in years, Opeth released Heritage but the thought of listening to it bores me, Alice Cooper got round to releasing Welcome 2 My Nightmare which is actually a great classic rock album and nowhere near as bad as it sounds. Former Skid Row squealer Seb Bach released Kicking & Screaming which serves as a reminder that, before he was using his mouth as Axl Rose's bidet, the guy could, on his day, kick the fat Ginger fuck up and down the stage vocally, Jane's Addiction returned with the above average 'Great Escape Artist', Al Jourgensen decided he couldn't live without Ministry and started to record 'Relapse' whilst finally releasing the crazy Buck Satan project (which has arrived after the cut off date) and lastly my chance to rip into MegaDave some more was denied when the 'Deth boys turned in Th1rt3en and it was actually alright...
So to the nitty gritty of my year.
The Ugly
6. In at six is the mighty Mastodon. A confusing band who one moment have this brutal punk vibe going for them, the next they are all clever and prog with too many notes and time signatures going on.
Having released the challenging and in part incredible Crack The Skye album in 2009 they stripped their sound back down and went balls out for The Hunter. Somewhat of an enigma that to me their more accessible release was harder to listen to. Less refined and a return to the uncompromising sounds of their earlier releases this is an album I will file under 'needs more time'.
5. As I have previously indicated I placed a great deal of expectation on the shoulders of Unearth this time out as I felt that since the Oncoming Storm they have been dependable, but not kicked on. III: In The Eyes Of Fire and The March were good, but more of the same, perhaps not as good.
Armed with Killswitch jackass Adam D behind the studio desk once more and Killswitch drummer Foley I felt this time could be something special for the Massachusetts metalcore crew. Sadly I am left feeling a little short changed and this is in part due to the introduction of clean vocals which smacks of an attempt to widen their audience. There is no shame in this, and it's not bad, just not the world beater I hoped for.
4. Another metalcore forerunner As I Lay Dying followed up their acclaimed 2009 album The Powerless Rise with a 'ten year celebratory special EP' Decas, which smacked of fulfilling contractual obligations.
Consisting of 3 new songs, a handful of covers - including heavy weights Judas Priest and Slayer as well as several remixes of their own earlier material, it is as hit and miss as it sounds. The new songs are strong and follow on where they previously left off, the covers are entertaining if not fairly pointless and redundant and the dance remixes are well, just fairly pointless and redundant.
Don't get me wrong I love AILD, I have listened to this a fair bit considering the sum of it's parts... But I just can't see the point in it.
3. I wrote about Emmure's Speaker Of The Dead earlier this year so I won't labour the point... it is lumpen and as musically dumb as the proverbial bag of hammers.
And hammers are a good analogy really; harking back to Douglas Adams - he described the drink The Pangalatic Gargle Blaster as being hit in the head by a gold brick wrapped in a slice of lemon... Well, substitute the lemon for a blunt paper, exchange the gold brick for a sack of Go-Bots, broken Transformers, Brass knuckles, a couple of Nintendo cartridge games and some bling and you'll probably still be nowhere near the effect.
The very essence of ugly, yet I have found myself compelled to listen to it.
2. This year also saw the return of Five Finger Death Punch. Promising harder, heavier, more melodic, more cowbell and more kitchen sink than ever before, the 'Death Punk' crew rolled over the airwaves with American Capitalist and you know what? They were right. Like a huge big, dumb, awful, brain melting cartoon with a massive side helping of cheese, they are fast food, low brow, quick fix and most of all fun.
I fucking love them, yes they are AWFUL, seriously bad at times but Evan Moody has a great voice and Zoltan Bathory is a great guitar player - they are the perfect 3.30pm festival band and this is their latest instalment, it's probably the weakest of the three so far, but it's not not even important at this point.
1. What is the ugliest record I heard all year?
Actually to phrase that better what is the ugliest record I have heard this year that doesn't fall into the worst album category?
Earlier in the year I wrote a lengthy rant about the ridiculousness of Limp Bizkit's 'Golden Cobra' even going as far as to dub it 'Golden Shower' but on reflection as the year draws to a close there are a couple of reasons I can't place it in the 'worst album' category.
i) As retarded as they are, they are great live entertainment. Durst is a shit lyricist, but a great frontman.
ii) They are self aware - they know how shit they are, but every now and then Borland and Otto let rip with these musical interludes that say, we only write this cos you people buy it.
iii) They are crap, they always have been crap. If you listen to it expecting genius, then you are a bigger idiot than Bizkit's frontman.
I hate them, yet I can't honestly sit here and tell you it deserves to be in the worst album category, because it never stood a chance of being in the best one.
Make of this what you want, but Golden Cobra is definitely the ugliest thing I have heard all year...
The Bad
5. I'll put my hands up on this one. It's a 2010 release, not 2011.
Sure there are some awful records that have assaulted my ears this year, but I thought it was incredibly mean spirited to sling Golden Cobra into the top 5 worst albums I have heard this year as in truth it would be like pointing out the defects in Li-Lo's Photoshopped Playboy shoot.
However I heard earlier this year Bring Me The Horizon's 2010 'There Is A Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It, If There Is A Heaven, Let's Keep It A Secret'. Not only does this win the most retarded title award, but is in actual fact, 100% ear cancer. Devoid of anything remotely endearing the band, who also are strong candidates for shittest name to come out of the Random Emo Name Generator, have had a busy year fighting with their own audiences and being universally booed across Europe supporting Machine Head.
The worst thing was I only found out they were British the other week. They achieve the less than glowing compliment of making Parkway fucking Drive sound good.
Fuck this band and their douchebag front man, I boycotted Machine Head thanks to you and fucking Devildriver; if your music was a living entity I would shoot it in the genitals to stop it spreading. Just about the worst thing I have heard this year.
4. Annnnnd back to to the present....
It is sad to say that I have to finally give in and admit defeat with In Flames. Once proud pioneers of The Gothenburg Sound (Melodic Death Metal to you and I) who seemed to be clawing back a little bit of credibility, this years awfully titled 'Sounds Of A Playground Fading' managed the dubious achievement of making everything they have released since 2000's fan dividing 'Re-route To Remain' sound interesting and cutting edge.
Essentially there is little wrong with what is on the disc - trademark In Flames riffs, moany lyrics, fast solos... all check but the fact is it is so incredibly stock and fucking boring that I would rather they just hadn't bothered.
Honestly no matter how many spins I have given it I don't think I could pick a song out if it set itself on fire and ran around my living room.
No one expects this band to rewrite Jester Race, but when this isn't even as good as Come Clarity you have to wonder if this once great band have over stayed their welcome.
3. Once upon a time there was a band called Anthrax... stop me if you've heard this one before... oh you have? 3 Singers and the fact they settled on the one most likely to earn them the quick cash on the back of The Big Four tours rather than the one that would have them make the best music?
That's right.
In essence a lot of people are/will be very happy with Worship Music, that's the truth of the matter. It sounds like a very eighties 'Thrax album, albeit in an extremely contrived way. Skeletor sounds the same as ever (by which I mean he sounds like he did on Among The Living, but I would rather he sounded like John Bush), the music is, well it's like a nostalgia trip back to the golden age of youth... although imagine when you got up close to the Delorian you lovingly remembered without the rose tinted specs on you saw it was a bit plasticy, a bit naff looking and cheap... and it handles like a cow.
That is the Anthrax album I heard.
Horrendous lyrics like Judas Priest (not about the band), Fight Em Til You Die etc, music that sounds overdone and a bit forced, but the worst thing for me is that Anthrax progressed during the Bush era, pushed themselves - like they did back in the real eighties probably to their career detriment - and here they sound like they have gone backwards and produced someones idea of a classic era Anthrax album...
Of course they have, they made my mate The Boy Tuesday's idea of a classic Anthrax album - he loves it, but then he thinks music died with The Black album.
Mind you this is the same guy who is now excited by Metallica playing Download... and he hates that album, go figure.
However if I wanted to listen to yesteryear Anthrax I'd have gotten in my time machine and revved it up to 88mph.
2. From the dated to the contemporary there is one thing consistent, some people make dreadful music in the name of progress. Now I am probably going to be labelled small minded or a hater for this but crashing into the top five for the second year running is the latest Korn coaster, this time entitled 'The Path Of Totality'.
Here the Bakersfield crew have updated their dated nineties sound to a more modern Dubstep influenced sound. Yes that's right folks, coming straight outta South London in 1998 the latest dance trend has taken until recently to break through into the mainstream. Despite a favourable reception to III: Remember Who You Are apparently Fat Mexican Pimp-a-like Jon Davies has been DJing a lot recently and has gotten into Dubstep and so off they go again in another attempt to stay relevant, collaborating with all manner of bad dance music producing nerks to make this shambles of an album.
Now I know I should in reality commend them for actually taking a risk and trying to evolve, but fuck me, Dubstep is bad enough on it's own and Korn are bad enough on their own, together it's like a bunch of children let lose on Garage Band or something... I like dance, I like industrial, Prodigy's cover of L7's Fuel My Fire s awesome, this sounds like an annoying console game soundtrack with a millionaire still bleating and whinging over the top.
Call me close minded, but I tell you I still listen to Fear Factory's Remanufacture and even now it's great, this however is just bollocks.
1. So have you guessed it yet?
Honestly if you have needed a hand guessing what has to be the most execrable thing heard all year you must have being living in the same universe where they convinced Korn to write Dubstep. Without a shadow of a doubt by far the biggest piece of shit to be released this year under the banner of music is Lou & Metallica's dismal, dismal collaboration Lulu.
Sure someone is going to tell me it's art, someone is going to tell me it's brave, someone is going to tell me they have always gone against the grain, it's not a proper Metallica album, I don't get it... well you know what?
They can fuck off off as well.
It's rubbish, it's just utter garbage in fact and I fear it is the straw that broke the camel's back for me. When The Boy moans about Metallica selling out with the Black album and he can't listen to them, it makes me laugh - St fucking Anger, Death fucking Cliptastic and now this!
Fuck you Metallica - 20,000 copies sold in a month tells you how bad it is!
I notice now in an attempt to divert attention from this monstrous suckfest you have release the Beyond Magnetic Ep this week - four tracks from the Death Cliptastic sessions, OOOOO thanks guys, four songs you and Rick decided weren't good enough to go on the album, four songs you deemed worse than Redemption & Suicide? My Apocalypse? End Of The Line? The Judas Kiss?
Well fuckin' cheers guys, not only is it bad enough you couldn't be bothered to record and master the last two albums properly, this time it seems you couldn't be bother to write it either, or sing in tune, or play music properly on this one.
And as for Lou Reed... oh fuck it, even Lou Reed fans seem to hate him these days so let's leave him out of it as he clear doesn't know any better, the money making machine that is Metallica's management should have shot everyone involved with this project the moment the demos came in.
Aaaannnnnnyyyyywwwwaaaaayyy!
There has been some good to come out of the year apart from being pushed over the edge by one of my favourite bands and the fact that the longest list on this article is good means that the disappointment has been outweighed by the good (get me all positive!). So without further ado...
The Good
7. In at seven is Jamie Jasta's solo album, the imaginatively titled 'Jasta'.
Again I loved this album so much I was moved to write about it earlier this year, rather than labour the point here in I'll skim briefly so if you want a lengthier dissection have shufty at the article 'Caught Jasta'.
In short this album offered far more depth, melody and song writing nouse than I expected. Sure I was confident it could do aggressive yet uplifting songs and at no point does it disappoint, but the sheer scope of the album was far beyond Hatebreed and had more in common with Kingdom Of Sorrow. The guest slots from Phil Labonte, Randy Blythe, Mark Morton, Tim whatisface from As I Lay Dying, Zakk Myilde may be to boost confidence, and are great but in truth they are not needed as tracks like Set You Adrift and Anthems Of A Freedom Fighter prove. This is an extremely listenable and accomplished album.
6. Named after an Latin oath to tell the truth Sacramento screamers Will Haven dragged themselves Lazarus like back from the brink of whatever happens to cult bands when they falter and fade with this years Voir Dire. Having endured the last, disappointing album with new vocalist/long time friend Jeff Jaworski 'The Heirophant' and it's subsequent tour where frankly I out sung him on classic 'I've Seen My Fate' and no one knew any of the band members they seemingly sunk without a trace.
Following a One Love For Chi benefit gig (being long standing mates of the deftones) it was announced that original vocalist and maths teacher look-a-like Grady Avenell had returned.
In a triumphant celebration of everything great about Will Haven 'Voir Dire' positively smashes it's way out of the speakers, grinding and clawing with revived fury. Not only are the original band members mostly back (although Slipknot's Chris Fehn handles bass duties) but they have rediscovered their fire and drive with Avenell sounding like a bug eyed madman on tracks like 'When The Walls Close In' whilst Jeff Irwin's guitar pummels the senses.
Sonically this sounds like a follow up to their classic 'El Diablo' album but they have enhanced it with a depth and a light and shade that makes it almost melancholy at times, but with Avenell back there is something special about it.
I love this band, and it's great to have them back.
5. Wine making, enigmatic baldy Maynard James Keenan wondered into view, blew effortlessly on his finger nails, look up and said 'What?' as Tool fans everywhere cried out for a new album, but found themselves curious about 'Conditions Of My Parole' the sophomore album from dark, ambient, electro-pop, as easy to describe as it to nail jelly to the wall, bit on the side Puscifer.
Picking up where the previous EPs and album left off this is an exercise in effortless cool from start to finish.
I mean who the hell else can get pouty, rake thin, Resident Evil star Milla Jovovich to sing backing vocals and look at him all googly eyed, professing to be a huge fan whilst he stands there and blows it off like it's nothing? Honestly if the man wasn't a living stone cold genius you'd punch him in the dick for being such a wanker.
Fortunately 'Conditions...' is another hedonistic blend of dark, throbbing sexual undertones, subtle guitars, tripped out electronica and clever lyrical turns; less direct and and amped as the first album, this feels more like the work of a band than a one off side project.
Relaxing and unsettling at the same time, but only criticism here Mr Keenan is that Tool's '10,000 Days' was released in May 2006 which means it will now be at least six years between that and any new releases. This year has seen Justin Chandler playing the National Anthem at a WWE Pay Per View Event, Daney Carey appearing in music magazines hawking his own line of drums, a failed A Perfect Circle reunion, Puscifer live dates and now this. In short thank you for an extremely enjoyable album, but get your fucking ass back where you belong please.
4. Nepotism rules, ask the Redknapps and the Lampards.
As such, here is my full review of the eponymous Grifter album for The Sleeping Shaman.
Grifter
Let me be clear, they aren't here because they are my mates, this isn't to boost their egos because gawd knows they are bad enough already (sorry Ollie couldn't resist), they are here because genuinely I feel they have released one of the best albums I have heard all year and the plethora of great reviews (including 8/10 in Metal Hammer UK) echoes this.
I am so proud knowing how hard the guys work at something they absolutely love that they are finally getting the exposure and credit they deserve.
Catch em on tour with the mighty Orange Goblin next year.
3. Again I seem to be repeating myself a lot this time out, but despite the fact that (as great as they are) Down seem to inhibit great music as much as they make it. By this I mean that Corrosion of Conformity, Crowbar and Eyehategod all suffer from stuttering output due to the demands of the NOLA supergroup, but finally this year Kirk Windstein came home to Crowbar, got off the drugs and cut waaaaaayyyyy back on the booze and made one of his best albums in years in 'Sever The Wicked Hand'.
But as I kicked the ass out of that back in February I invite you to refresh your memory on that entry.
And cos I'm lazy.
2. Getting to the business end now and one of the most welcome and surprsing records of the year has to be The Hymn Of A Broken Man by Times Of Grace.
Yes, who? Quite.
Times Of Grace was the first collaboration between Killswitch Engage's Adam D and former Killswitch singer Jessie Leech since 'Alive Or Just Breathing' - the last time Killswitch were a great band.
The whole album, whether full on raging Metalcore or tender acoustic numbers shows the fantastic chemistry and interplay between the two that is so missed in the sleepwalking by numbers emo dross churned out by Killswitch these days. Written when Adam was laid up in agony awaiting back surgery these tunes plumb dark depths of the human psyche in an elegant and article way that I thought Dutkiewicz had long since forgotten. The emotion weight of this darkness and uplifting parts of The Hymn Of A Broken Man make this a breathless journey from the title track, through Strength In Numbers and The Forgotten One.
This rejuvenation is thanks in large part to Leech, a far superior vocalist compared to his replacement he quite simply shines on this record, clearly relishing the reunion with his old sparring partner. Lavishly accompanied by a DVD of arty videos that compliment the music this is as much a work of art as it is a side project.
Bottom line is that this was released at the start of the year and it has never been far from my ears all year, my biggest regret being that I could not make it to Download to see the band make their UK debut as, unless I am extremely lucky, it is highly unlikely we'll see an album this good from the Killswitch axeman for some time, if ever.
1. So when it comes down to it, what was the best thing I heard all year?
Simply put and without any fucking around, it was Unto The Locust.
I started with doubt and I was blown away.
I didn't think they could innovate, I was wrong.
I have to say I can't stop listening to it, it's fantastic.
I've reviewed it already in October (as I seem to have done with anything worth waxing on about this year) but I stand as much by that opinion now as I did then.
Machine Head are home, go buy this album, make them headliners, give them the chance to continue metal's legacy, a band who are proud to be what they are, who care about their fans, who can make an album sound awesome and above all who want to push the genre to dizzying heights.
In short this album made me excited by music this year and it is a joyous celebration from start to finish.
So barring Buck Satan, that's it for this year unless something happens between now and New Year so I will bid you a Happy New Year and hope 2012 is kinder on all.
Peace and Goodwill to most men....
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